from one friend to another ...

Bits and pieces of my note to my girlfriend who is having marital problems, four years into her marriage.

Hello girl,

I talked to my sister briefly about it...she said, It is unacceptable, the marriage is too young for him to act that nonchalant when his partner is having a problem." ...i have come to appreciate after being alone for so long, is that I am not afraid of being by myself, and I am not afraid of taking care of myself. there are certain times when you have to draw a list of the pros and cons of staying with him, and if the cons outweigh the pros, then, you look for inner peace by yourself with your daughter. Maybe he didn't bargain for all that he's ended up with in marriage so young, and some men ...fear being tied down to routine, so they decide to find ways to run from it so they wouldn't have to face it. that's fine but it's your life too. but I can only say this because i am single, maybe if I were married, I would tell you to hang in there and take the good with the bad, but either way you have to write that list. and don't let regret carry you. that's what has consumed me and consumes me everyday that I cannot do a good job. I keep thinking that there were some forks in the road somewhere in my past and I failed to take the right road, and ended up with this one, and blame myself, God, everybody and everything for not letting me take the right path. Don't ever regret where you are. It was God's decision in everything, in His might, He thought it out just like He thought out mine as shitty as it is. I just keep thinking, most likely to succeed that didn't. Is that what God wanted for me? Perhaps. But that's where we are. My dear friend, just think about this today and I will talk to you later on Saturday, I am going to ride my bike in the afternoon.

take care and pray, and find some kind of escape. mine is Keanu Reeves, and my writing and I recently took up cycling, find something. whatever it may be.

your friend,

About the "headbutt heard round the world"

It must be so hard being a role model.

It must even be harder living up to the expectation of being a role model without knowing that in your every day life/work thT you have been chosen as a role model.

I must be one of the very few people in this world who totally understands and respects (and thinks it is somewhat cool) what Zidane did at the World Cup on Sunday.

Soccer is a very passionate game. As a matter of fact, the passion is what I love about it. It's about the only game I know that grown men cry, in full glare, not even ashamed to show that they are crushed and are literally weeping and wailing. So with all that passion, when something like a curse word aimed at the wrong person is thrown in it, it must be so infuriating.

I cannot tell you how many times I have wanted to bash people's heads in, *most recently the douche bag I now work for* for saying the wrong things, doing the wrong things, but you keep it all inside, and it just consumes you, and it gives the provoker the impression that it is alright to infuriate you, that "I can do this and get away with it," sometimes being civilized, makes you lose face and not confront the wrongdoing, or warn the wrongdoing, that you know what "you can no longer do this. It is unacceptable." I like what he did, I admire what he did.

I was a little bit of a fan before, but now I am an even bigger fan, and everything he said in his apology is just about the way I would have phrased it, "I do not regret what I did."


I have also culled pieces from blogs that I agree with.

Given a reprieve, Zizou picked up his squad by the scruff of the neck and spurred them by example. Angry passion has always been a critical factor in Zidane's game-as he has mellowed during his advancing years, his play has gone south as well. Zidane was able to summon his fire once more in Germany. This was Zizou in full-you can't take the genius in the midfield without also taking the occasional bout of anger. If it cost his team the World Cup, well, they wouldn't have been in that position anyway.

NYU doctoral candidate Asad Raza at 3 Quarks Daily provides an explanation for shocked U.S. fans: "It may have clarified his priority for pride and honor over winning. This is equally unfamiliar in the U.S., where sports are so heavily corporate that there is little tolerance for figures who do not, like Michael Jordan, always place the game above all else."

Thoughts of an anniversary

Today is Sly Stallone's 60th birthday.

Years ago, very many years ago, I must have been a young teenager at the time, I was in boarding school and me and a friend of mine thought it'd be a good idea to send him a fan letter, a big birthday card and fan note. We thought we'd get a response on it because, some other girl had been writing to Kevin Costner (who at that time was a bigger star) and he had responded, with an autographed picture from his new movie "Dances with Wolves." So we thought of something unique to write on the letter, unique for two 15 years olds, and then we put as much stamp as possible so the mail room wouldn't return it, and off the letter went.

Needless to say we never got a response. Just my luck, right. I only remember this now because of two things. I still write fan letters, I am in my early thirties, and I still write fan letters. As a matter of fact I wrote one last night, currently resisting the urge to run and check my email for a response. I wrote one to Interview editors asking them to interview Keanu, and I wrote one to Details responding to their article on Keanu (that one did get published), I also wrote one to Gavin, (which wasn't a very good one) and then, the one last night was to Sir Dane Cook, with his one million plus friends on Myspace. My newest and latest obsession. What is a 32 year old woman doing writing him or any fan letters at all. However, that's just me, 16 years later I am still writing fan letters.

The second reason why I remember this is because I just got back from Philly, the sights and sounds of Rocky. Everywhere you turn there's some tribute to Rocky, his poster, some place he visited in the movie, most especially the museum steps that he climbed on top of and made it a part of movie history. It became a part of my history. I don't think that when I wrote that letter I thought, there would come a time when I would actually visit this place, and strike a pose just like he did, but it happened. Some dreams come true even when you don't imagine them to be.

Life is weird and believing in miracles or circumstances, or happenstances is even weirder. And if you are like me, that you just do whatever makes you feel good, even though it is three levels below your age, that is a weitd tale to live up to.

I will post pictures from my trip trying to revive this thing a bit. I have 5 weeks to my first exam and I am fooling with this blog.

Point of no return

Sometimes you reach this point that seems like a fork in the road. It put stops and you know it has stopped because it seems to be asking you to make a decision, questioning what direction you shall choose to go. And you know that whatever direction you choose it;s going to be a crucial one for the rest of your life until you get to yet another fork in the road.