Anita Writes - Reflections on Aging

 

As I celebrated yet another trip around the sun solo (Not that I'm complaining) I contemplated several things for the first time in my storied colorful life. 

I thought simply that in my next life I will choose to be married, to have the 2.3 kids, to submit my life to the routine, the atimes mind-numbing normalcy of a family. Not like there's any specific prize associated with it. But Society. Yes, Society particularly Nigerian Society values, respects and even sees you more once you're either married or with kids. 

Without it, you're either invisible and your life carries no meaning, no matter how educated and professionally accomplished you are. I could have a Harvard MBA but if there's no Mr. at home with little rugrats running around, I'm addressed as if I wasted my life, as if it has no consequence whatsoever. But if I happen to have both, I'm no longer invisible but invincible and an acceptable member of society and the happiness and fulfillment with my life is assumed. They start to randomly utter to you, "We're proud of you," as if they're not proud of either way. Yea. Interesting, how much more meaning your life has once you're no longer single?

In my next life, I would choose to be black but not African and I will choose to be married with an Ivy league education, state of marriage notwithstanding. Oh if we could exercise these choices.

But now, for now, this moment, I just choose to be grateful for the sunrise on this birthday. 

An Anita Writes Birthday Sequel

Was trying to recall the last time my birthday was on a Sunday and this came to mind…

My trip to Santa Barbara. 

A very long, meticulously planned very expensive trip that my boujeé wine-loving self insisted on taking. I can’t remember how many times I had to answer that question that night at the Lounge/NightClub "Black Cat".

"Why did you decide to leave Atlanta to come celebrate your birthday in Santa Barbara?"

To date I don’t really know. Guess I had seen so many movies around that time that informed my senses around the type of lifestyle that existed in Santa Barbara and how it seemed more like me. That was how it for me the one boujee place that would be a perfect setting to celebrate my birthday. I was also really getting into wine about that time too, and the wine country in California is not so far from there. 

I miss those times when you can have a dream, an idea and the funds (credit cards) would enable you to achieve them. I’ve never been much of a saver. I've always believed in living for the moment because tomorrow is not promised, tomorrow you might find yourself living in Nigeria(!) That's always been me. But looking back, I am glad that I maxed out my credit cards and took that boujee trip to Santa Barbara as you can see this type of trips are not available right now so it was a good thing we lived our best life so we can live in the memories and the bourgeoisie culture that it imbibed in us. 

...

To many more birthdays, Anita Writes, preferably in foreign exotic cities.