new solo converts

I've created a monster!

I actually have a convert  - a recent solo adventurer. My brother, who's birthday is today, (Happy Birthday Bro!)  is currently vacationing by himself in Accra, Ghana. His wife happened to be out of town on business for his birthday and instead of spending it alone, holding up the enjoyment until she returns after his birthday, he decided to take a cue from me and enjoy a solo vacation by himself. He is now in Accra having fun, shopping, taking in the sights, watching movies, having dinner and just being him. Isn't it fun? I ask him via texts, and with each text response he seems ever so elated that he took on this journey. Even my mum is elated that I somehow convinced him to do it. He said, I influenced him. I am glad I did. I told him once he vacations by himself, it would be hard to adjust with a group. But only time will tell if this is a one-time venture. Hopefully, so.  

A Mansion in Brooklyn's Newest Bohemia

I read, or rather browsed through this slide show in the NY Times Real Estate Section of a group of 20 something artists who live and share a house in Brooklyn.

The article was titled the same as this post.

The Bohemian aspect of it intrigued me greatly. You know I am drawn to all things "hippiesque", anti-authority and bohemian. I particularly like the freedom that it brings to be free from all the constraints that society wants from us. Society expects you to have a 9-5, have a car, have all this stuff in your home that you just might need, have a home, have a mortgage, etc, it expects that normalcy from you and some people just don't fit into that normalcy, a small group of people don't and this group seems to be getting smaller by the minute, but yes, some of us do exist that would rather choose to have the bohemian lifestyle; where we bike everywhere, sleep around all day and work in the evening, and spend all day reading and discussing Nietzsche, have visible tattoos that have some existential meaning that only we are aware of, get to go to all the cool art shows and discuss it like it's the meaning of life, and generally just have fun with our lives just being. I don't know. I am not making much sense. I just thought it would be really cool to live like that. As I scrolled through those pictures for a split second I wanted to be one of them, chasing my dream, living simply, among friends and like-minded people.

For a brief second, I wanted to be one of them. I still do. However, today I had to wake up early to get to my 9-5.

And you wonder what's wrong with me.

EDIT: 2017 - This article no longer exists on the NY Times Real Estate page. Tried to reach out to NY Times for an update or at least for the source pics, but they have not responded. Hmmm...too bad. 

Live Viewing Reviews

Hey!

Just wanted to take a moment to remind you about our event tomorrow night that you have rsvp’d for. Brianna Jenkins and I will be there and will be doing a live cooking demo and live viewing of Episode 6!

There will be free appetizers and Karma Tequila will be our drink sponsor and I created “The Herbilicious” which you are going to love for only $5!

Also, we are kicking off a school supplies drive benefitting The Boys & Girls Clubs of Metro Atlanta so please visit their Wish List and see what you can do to help the local children of Atlanta. Bring the school supplies with you tomorrow night!

Episode 6 Live Viewing Party

Location: ROOM at Twelve Centennial Park

Address: 400 West Peachtree St, Atlanta, GA 30308

This seemed like the perfect remedy to my vacation slump. When the invite arrived, I was sorta looking forward to it, even though I don't watch the show, don't watch Food Network at all, and I don't know who either of these contestants are. However, this offered me a chance to leave the house and to dine at Room at Twelve. I've dined at Lobby at Twelve and I like it a lot, very vibrant bar scene, great wine list, occasional sighting of the Atlanta celebrity. Love it! So I thought, Room at Twelve, here  I come.

I didn't invite any of my friends to come with me, because let's face it this was to happen on a Sunday night, in downtown Atlanta with no offer of free drinks, food or anything (ignore the free hors d'oeuvres note, because that didn't happen) so there was really nothing in it to entice them to come. If someone else had invited me I probably would have shrugged it off as well. There has to be something more to make people go out on a Sunday night. So I RSVP'd as a one-r, what else is new?

This invite was actually misleading because this did not happen anywhere as close to what was described above. It was more like Dinner with Herb Mesa. We were asked to come have dinner at this restaurant, then Herb will do a mini cooking demonstration, followed by a live viewing of the show. I thought it would be more like a cocktail party that offered the opportunity to mingle, to interact or do anything unless you were one of the lucky few who Herb greeted but more on that later. There were a whole bunch of us seated at dinner tables in the restaurant encouraged to have dinner there. That was it.

If you don't know anything about Atlanta events, at least know this. Well, these four points I will bring to your attention.

1. The event organizers actually don't know how to handle people who attend events on their own. There's a total lack of enthusiasm on their part when you say, hey, look for my name on the list and it's just me no, plus one. Their face completely drops and they start scrambling for what to do. Immediately, you are seated at the "kids table" or what I choose to term as "as far away from the rest of the group as possible" which is a sad reality. For all you know I am a writer, a critic, an event critic who has come to critique your show and if I was, why would I show up with someone, I would show up alone so it would give me more time to work on my review.

2. Not only are you seated at the "kids table", there is no service at this table because they instantly forget that you are with the rest of the group. How can they remember, that's the table for the people they are not sure how they got there. Why don't you sit me with the other singles or some place where I can mingle, let's try that. Why put me here where you can forget about me? So all the goodies that are passed around never get to my table? It's like I don't even exist.

3. Because you are in the non-existent table, the event hosts, in this case Herb and Brianna, don't stop by to greet you. They greet everyone else in the coupled up table but they don't stop by to greet you. Why would they, you dared to show up here by yourself?

4. This next point holds true for any event, last night's was no exception. The event photographers are trained to take pictures of groups, couples etc. There is this unknown rule of photographing events that has a two person minimum. I've noticed this but I didn't know it would be so apparent considering I take pictures myself. It almost makes you want to bring your own camera and document them as they skip you. At first I thought maybe there's something in my teeth or I'm wearing a color that does not look good on camera. Nope, none of these things. There's a 2 person minimum etched in their brain and one person just won't photograph as good.

This was my Sunday night. Disappointing a bit. Even more disappointing because the food at Room at Twelve was awful. The Calamari was comprised of batter and oil, nothing else. Worse than what you would get at a fast food joint, not a "fine dining" restaurant. The service was hazy, one minute they were there and next minute...poof!. It was horrid. My rating of the evening was a 5 out of ten. But I am not discouraged. I just think that with a little practice people will get used to seeing people on their own. We need to force feed them a dose of the singles. Now, they don't quite know how to deal so I forgive them.

With all that being said, I would still go out again. Part of being a writer is experiencing life, part of living is taking a bite out of life, good or bad. Sometimes I have good times, sometimes I don't. But at least I have something to write about that more than makes up for it.

Dinner For One

I finally got out of my funk and went out a bit this weekend.

I went to one of my favorite hotel bars - The St. Regis Hotel for a night cap. I treated myself first to dinner at One Midtown Kitchen, but trust me that was not memorable. I was blessed with one of those non-personable bartenders  that but for the food I would have sworn off coming back there. It's the type of place you go to and invite everyone you know, I mean everyone, your neighbor that you hardly talk to, your co-worker that you sorta despise, come one come all, just call everyone together because it's time to go to One Midtown Kitchen. I don't think they've experienced any single diners at their restaurant in years. There was too much shock and awe registered on their faces as I sat and chewed on my food by myself, this was even more evident in the perception of the other diners. So after a very unsatisfactory dining experience, I went over to the St. Regis for a drink. 

Don't get me wrong the food was great. They had one of the most imaginative Calamari dishes I've had in a long time. It surpassed the one I had at Bottega in Yountville, Napa. And the wine list was very ambitious. They had Gewurtzraminer, very sweet delicate wine that you hardly get on any menu. The ambiance was also very inviting; it will make you want to spend quite a bit of time drinking and eating and taking it all in. However, that was it. There needed to be something more and that something more was sorta lacking for me so I moved to another location, determined not to let this deter me from enjoying my evening out. 

Aaah, the St. Regis, how I love thee. The hotel is so pretty, so close to home and yet I hardly go there. I don't know why. It's so gorgeous, the top notch interior design is excellent from the breathtaking grand lobby, to the exquisitely designed bathrooms. Like the lady beside me said, she always feels like she's been transported to another place whenever she comes there, like she's gone on a mini-holiday somewhere else. It just made me think, that's it, that's what I like so much about this place, the escapism factor. Everything else is also very exquisite, from the valet who greets you like you're their only customer to the bar staff who patiently explain the wine to you. Such a sharp contrast to the first restaurant I had visited that evening. After the funk I found myself in upon returning from vacation, when I thought nothing else could quite compare to California, not the service, not the weather, nothing could compare. After falling into that slump for about a month, the St. Regis was just the best place to roll me out of that funk. 

I guess for me what I take away from this experience is that you always have to go to that happy place, where the people treat you like they see you, even though you're by yourself, they see you, they greet you with a smile and there are people that just might be there on their own, you're not sticking out like a sore thumb. And with that place you instantly erase the bitter aftertaste of all the places that occurred before it because you've been seen as an individual who enjoys the good things of life even though they would like to enjoy them solo.

While noone else is single

I just heard Penelope Cruz got hitched earlier this month and it's affecting me emotionally. I am so jealous of her. I don't know why. I don't particularly have a crush on Javier Bardem. I also think they make a lovely charming couple. I just think I am caught up on her age. She is the same age as me. Whenever people the same age as me or a little older get married or pregnant I think, why can't that be me? Seriously, why can't it be? So I do know why. I am envious that yet again, another single girl in her thirties has managed to snag herself a man and that gal is not me.

A month ago, 2 days before my birthday, one of my oldest (oldest as in known for a long time, not good friend as in we are really close) friends announced, via email of course, that she was getting married in Istanbul, Turkey on 10/10/2010. This friend is just tsk, tsk, tsk. You ever have one of those girlfriends who never asks you how you are and only contacts you when they want to announce their good news. Like, I get an email every once in awhile, with a printout of her interview in a magazine, or a link to her latest summer trip to Europe, or just something, announcing, "Hey this is me and everything's great." She never for once asks how I am. Or even asks if I give a fuck. Years ago, she used to call me only on my birthday to wish me happy birthday and once I'd get into the deep stuff she would cut me off and feign another phone call or something. Like it would kill her to discuss anything with me that does not involve me praising her for her latest conquest. And her, in her true fashion sent me an email announcing her upcoming nuptials in a foreign land and a link to their wedding website. She actually expects me to travel, get visas, pay the airfare, hotel accomodations, etc, just to see her wed. The expense of that must be enormous. Which begs the question, would she do the same for me? She can't even spare 5 decent minutes with me on the phone to talk about me on my birthday, why would I want to do that for her?

That was one of my frustrations with that email. The other essentially had to do with the fact that she was the last of my single gals/girlfriends. You know how you have a group of friends that you grew up with and one by one they all get hitched, but some of you remain and proclaim to be "career girls" or the "girls that won't settle" or are "too good to succumb themselves to that boring institution called marriage". As the years go by that number dwindles until it's just a paltry number of you left single and before you know it, like in my case, you're the only one left single with no decent excuse as to why in heaven's holy name you are single. I am not even dating, that's how bad it is. How pathetic is my life?

Like Dane Cook said in one of his jokes, being single is like walking home in the pouring rain just to find that everyone on your block got together to have a nice little soiree and they didn't invite you and you just walk past their house and you see them all happy, delighted, having a great time and no one even bothered to tell you this was happening. And you're just standing there in the rain looking at them longingly. In other words, it's pathetic.

So what do you do, when everyone else, even the die-hard singles have joined the "get married" club? What is a single gal to do?

Personable Bartenders

It's been a few weeks, I know. And since then, I have still been partaking of the single life, albeit in smaller doses as I recover financially from my vacation. But I must say that I am a tad discouraged. There is not that much encouragement out there for single people, especially in the summertime, or even in the winter, that's why we drink a lot. In drinking, you always think you'd be consoled by the company of the bartenders, or the awesome restaurant staff, that it would make you not feel so "single" after all. However, if your drinking is occurring in Atlanta, trust me that will not happen.

I find that Atlanta is lacking (one of the multiple things it is lacking in) in what I choose to call "personable bartenders," wait staff in general but that's a whole other story. You go to these places, hoping to strike up a chat with the bartender about anything, sports, the weather, current events, anything remotely interesting as you down your drink but that is not the case. Especially for me being a woman. It's always so... cold. There's a little bit of shock in their demeanor first of all as they try to digest my presence - what's a nice looking lady like you doing here in a bar by herself. They never quite get over this before I hit them with another mystery, I ask for a beer. Then it's - what's a nice looking lady like you doing here in a bar by herself, drinking a beer. It all doesn't add up. They trouble themselves by thinking I am there to meet someone, that I will soon be joined by a nice lad. No, that is not the case. They wait and wait and no one joins me. Then, I pay for myself, or use my own credit card to open my own tab. This is just not adding up. So they immediately think I must hate people, this causes them to shrink to a corner and NOT EVEN MAKE CONVERSATION WITH ME.

In between that time, other people join me at the bar, single men, single women, everyone's paired up. They instantly start conversing with the single men, about sports, the weather, some nonsense, and before you know it, they are offering them drinks on the house, shots on the house, sampling of their new wines, all of this on the house. While I am just sitting there watching all this "bromance" take place. Then, the single women are teased and heckled and generally given a good time. They treat them like the Sex and the City ladies just stopped by, play with them, offer them drinks they didn't order, while I am still sitting there in my corner watching all this flirting take place.

The only other time I hear from them is when my glass is almost drained and they bother to ask if I want another one and once I refuse (on account of my diet and the lack of company) they immediately present the check. What makes you think that I may not want another drink later, not right now, but later? But why would I after the lacklustre reception you've given me? I would have been better off drinking this at home in front of the TV, not sweating the small talk. And I could and lately I have. The fact that I have chosen not to means I want to talk to someone asides from myself when I drink. I want to see what the outside world looks like. What restaurants and bars don't understand is, the fact that I've chosen not to stay indoors means, I am here to be entertained by you and if you can't entertain me with a simple chat then, you don't deserve to have me here, drinking your overpriced alcohol and you bloody well don't deserve a tip.

So this is the cross we bear as single women no less in a town filled with coupled up (some of them because society has forced them to) people.

If you are one of those lacklustre bartenders, it's time to set yourself apart from the pack, embrace the single woman and bring some strut to your work. Make some damn conversation with her. That could be you someday.