I just heard Penelope Cruz got hitched earlier this month and it's affecting me emotionally. I am so jealous of her. I don't know why. I don't particularly have a crush on Javier Bardem. I also think they make a lovely charming couple. I just think I am caught up on her age. She is the same age as me. Whenever people the same age as me or a little older get married or pregnant I think, why can't that be me? Seriously, why can't it be? So I do know why. I am envious that yet again, another single girl in her thirties has managed to snag herself a man and that gal is not me.
A month ago, 2 days before my birthday, one of my oldest (oldest as in known for a long time, not good friend as in we are really close) friends announced, via email of course, that she was getting married in Istanbul, Turkey on 10/10/2010. This friend is just tsk, tsk, tsk. You ever have one of those girlfriends who never asks you how you are and only contacts you when they want to announce their good news. Like, I get an email every once in awhile, with a printout of her interview in a magazine, or a link to her latest summer trip to Europe, or just something, announcing, "Hey this is me and everything's great." She never for once asks how I am. Or even asks if I give a fuck. Years ago, she used to call me only on my birthday to wish me happy birthday and once I'd get into the deep stuff she would cut me off and feign another phone call or something. Like it would kill her to discuss anything with me that does not involve me praising her for her latest conquest. And her, in her true fashion sent me an email announcing her upcoming nuptials in a foreign land and a link to their wedding website. She actually expects me to travel, get visas, pay the airfare, hotel accomodations, etc, just to see her wed. The expense of that must be enormous. Which begs the question, would she do the same for me? She can't even spare 5 decent minutes with me on the phone to talk about me on my birthday, why would I want to do that for her?
That was one of my frustrations with that email. The other essentially had to do with the fact that she was the last of my single gals/girlfriends. You know how you have a group of friends that you grew up with and one by one they all get hitched, but some of you remain and proclaim to be "career girls" or the "girls that won't settle" or are "too good to succumb themselves to that boring institution called marriage". As the years go by that number dwindles until it's just a paltry number of you left single and before you know it, like in my case, you're the only one left single with no decent excuse as to why in heaven's holy name you are single. I am not even dating, that's how bad it is. How pathetic is my life?
Like Dane Cook said in one of his jokes, being single is like walking home in the pouring rain just to find that everyone on your block got together to have a nice little soiree and they didn't invite you and you just walk past their house and you see them all happy, delighted, having a great time and no one even bothered to tell you this was happening. And you're just standing there in the rain looking at them longingly. In other words, it's pathetic.
So what do you do, when everyone else, even the die-hard singles have joined the "get married" club? What is a single gal to do?
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