Tale of an Affair - Extract from Notes to a Negro

 My Old Lady - Tales from an Affair

In the movie, My Old Lady (2014), a man who inherits a Parisian apartment from his estranged father is shocked to discover that the apartment is a viager - an ancient French real estate system with complex rules pertaining to its resale - and the feisty Englishwoman who has lived in the apartment with her daughter for many years is the live-in tenant, who must be paid rent until her demise. 

As the plot thickens and he discovers more about the apartment his father owned and left for him, he finds old photographs inscribed with "my only love" which depict the live-in tenant and his father from a younger age. When he confronts the old lady he soon discovers that the one reason his dad had taken on this viager apartment was to provide a permanent home for his love, the old feisty Englishwoman. His father had spent his summers in Paris in the home and they had carried on this affair for a great many years. 

I don't know why this movie I watched quite casually during my unemployment phase, suddenly came to me last night. Well, I do know why. I am just glad that it came to me. It was one of those European sensory alternative love stories that underlie main plot lines that are not plausible in real life. Or are they? 

The main character's dad carried on this affair so intently, without leaving his wife, so much so, the sadness that this instilled in his wife caused her to commit suicide. She probably felt there was no point living with a man who would rather give his love and devotion outside the marriage. 

To my head and to my heart, I would like to say, "I wish I knew what to do." 

I respond to tales of love in unconventional spaces like these. Perhaps because I lean towards an alternative somewhat bohemian lifestyle, or I just watch way too many foreign movies...but unconventional love stories like these give me hope, reason to believe that love wherever you may find it is available, and you should never discard it because it doesn't show up wrapped up in a bow. 

I don't think this one is wrapped in a bow.  

....Excerpts from my book, Notes to a Negro...

New Year, Same Woes - Thoughts on 2026

New Year...Same Woes

Four days into the New Year. 

Haven’t really taken the time to isolate my thoughts, goals or whatever for the New Year, 2026. 

I know everyone goes, New Year, New Goals, New Me, New Attitude, etc. But I have not really been like that about the New year, about any new year. It’s always around my birthday that I start resetting, putting some plans in place. New Year signifies the end to the Holiday Season which to me is the proverbial season of suspension or disassociation from the myriad of problems and just live like there’s no life outside the club or your bed. It is truly the Most Wonderful Time of the Year. 

It was such an emotional New Year for me. 

One, this is my 3rd festive season without a job. So there’s that. Needless to say, I was broke. The first year (2023) I wasn’t broke, the last year (2024), I had some sponsors. This year (2025), it was just me. With a rental increase looming in the year ahead. every time I thought about that rental increase, it made me not want to get out of bed. There was really nothing to look forward to. I spent more days bed-rotting than I did partying. And when I did party, I put the videos and pictures up so everyone thought that was how I rolled on the daily. Not so much. Most days. I didn’t really see the point. I know I talked about this last year in my Christmas update. I do not see what folks are so lively about this time of year. 2025 was not that great! We have companies (at least 2 that I can think of) owing their employees salaries months in arrears. Myself included. This means business is not moving in certain instances. Companies are not even taking out facilities to pay their staff maybe cos they do not have good credit. We have all that existing and more and yet everyone wants to party like it’s 1999. Plus, drinks and cocktails are starting to be priced according to the USD FX rate like we live in a stable economy. 

Had a very emotional crossover. 

I don’t know how the folks that go to church do it. I crossed over in the club a couple of times and let me say those were not so good years. I stayed home and prayed and meditated and it was a lot. It was very “heavy” for me. Then, got up 5 hours later to get ready for church and a very long day “out of the house”. As I spent every penny on my New Year outing, I prayed that God would find me a way to make that money back, to stop dipping into my savings, to pay the rental increase that is looming, to be resourceful, Naira cutthroat resourceful. With all that heaviness, I have just sunk into a state of despair, burying my thoughts into doom scrolling people’s fascinating lives on social media. Needless to say that I have now promised myself a much lighter fun-filled escapism crossover. The heaviness can wait, life is heavy enough as it is. 

Let's revel in some glitz and glam for one more night.