Still shopping for a condo

It surprises me how they say the housing market is facing a tremendous slump; worst slump in history, prices falling, etc. Yet rental prices of apartments and private units are at their all-time high. I have been in way too many negotiations with the condo owners in Atlantic Station trying to get them to break a Sista off a good deal. The first one that gave in, the unit is smaller than where I live now, I would have to sell some more furniture just to fit into that one. 

Then, the one I loved, rejected me because according to them, "another applicant showed up who made 4 times my pay." Consider if that were true - 4 times my pay needs to buy their own home NOT rent. People with my pay are buying their own home let alone 4 times of it. But I'll let that slide, it was either that lie or set themselves up for a discrimination lawsuit which they didn't want to do, so they thought they'd tell me a big fat lie.

Now, I am down to nothing. And to secure the big fat liars apartment I had to give my notice at current place so my apartment community will fill in the reference information. And every freaking day I have to hear that the housing market is having the worst slump in years. Tell that to the folks who won't let me lease at the ultra low rate that I can afford.

raining in the summer time

It's been raining in the summertime. Every day last week and this week. The last rainy day according to the trusty weather people, is Sunday, then sunshine all the way. Thankfully. Today I narrowly missed the downpour after work, because I was tucked in at home. I went to the clinic for this congestion issue, my throat has been clogged with sinus, and I sound like a frog. It was a waste of my money like every doctor trip in this country is, because they never know what to do with me. They often end up under diagnosing the seriousness of the problem and they recommend some over the counter medication, like I haven't tried that OTC enough before i decided to come pay you a visit. In other news my doctor is hot. HOT. He is the kind of middgle aged man I would like to date. He also got his hair highlghted blond, bright blond and cut like some kind of surfer. Possibly to make him look younger. But he looked hot, and I just couldn;t stop staring at him. If only men like that found me attractive I wouldn't be in this dateless slump I've been for the past four years, or more, but i am too shy to reveal it.

It is still raining. If only my luck was that good. Today my boss introduced em to the new attorneys by mentioning that I had an LL.B and LL.M. It just made me feel so good, really so good. I just kept thinking, the funny thing is that it is true. Everything else about me could be fake, my name, my age, everything else. but the fact of the matter my educational stats are actually true and no one can take that from me. Tax law for the win. Decided to frame the LL.M degree for ole timesake, just because.

To Loft or not to Loft

This is a picture of the view to the left of my balcony.

I swear Saturday morning is one of the best mornings of the week. You just have to sit there and laze around, and think of what to do for the day, what chores you can accomplish and the ones you can move to the top of the week. Last week, I watched an early morning movie, this week, I have just lazed around and watched the parade go by, updated a few journals here and there, played around on the computer and thought of working out. Hopefully I will work out, but that's another story.

The deal for the loft in Atlantic Station fell through for the second time in a month. The loft is not as big as my apartment. The bedroom upstirs is smaller than mine and the living space even though it's top notch as in hadrwood floors, granite counter tops, and stainless steel appliances, it is still smaller than the one I live in. Lofts are meant to be big and spacious and oversized. And because I have all these old people's furniture it makes it seem as if the space is reasonably smaller. So being that it's been on the market for a while I priced it very low. and asked them to install a washer and dryer. They agreed to my price but said they would not install the washer and dryer. So I said No to it. AGAIN. For the second time in a month I have said No to that loft. I am just not in the mood to pay that much for that small space and have to pay extra to get a washer and dryer. And then renter's insurance because that part of town is in a dodgy district. I am just not in the mood for all that. Since I just bought the new car that's costing me an arm and a leg because of the insurance and the monthly payments I am trying to keep my overhead down, really down. If I had seen the apartment before the car I may have been inspired to agree to that price but since I didn't, I am left holding the bag.

The sad part is since 2003 I have been dying to live in a loft, the openness and the high ceilings has attracted me to that type of living, and every time I come remotely close to living in one, something always breaks down the deal and then I live in a normal family style apartment for another year. It's now 4 years and two apartments later and I still can't garner a deal that will get me into a loft. Isn't that sad?

The place I live now is great but it's also domestic. It's gone very domestic. And when you're single, not by choice, the domestic scene is mucho annoying. There's a Panera Bread right underneath my bedroom window to the left and every morning the truck comes by to deliver fresh bread. That truck is noisy and annoying. It's a good scene in the middle of the day when people stop by to eat outside, but either way, I don't know why I have just fallen out of love with it. I can't pinpoint what it is, but I cannot stay here for another year. But I am not in the mood to pack my shit either. I don't know. It's like I am so bored with my life that the things I can change like my car and my home I want to and the things I can't change like my status, I want to ignore and keep myself distracted enough so I wouldn't know that they exist. If I live in a nice big ole' apartment I wouldn't feel so sorry for myself. But as soon as that excitement goes, I just look for something new.

This what I have been dealing with for the past 2 months. A whole lot of thinking about changing location.

Good reason for absence

There really is no good reason why I haven't been blogging like I should. I even have a digital camera now, you would think I would capture everyday with a picture, post it and then come blog about it. But no, I have not. I still like the idea of blogging, it gives me release. And lately work has been kind of slow so I need some kind of release, but I just have not been opportuned to blog.

It's like where do I begin. Am I disappointed that the LL.M didn't open the doors I wanted, yes. I just feel like a failure, like no matter what I do I fail. I used ot go out every weekend, every Friday night to see if I would meet someone, and sometimes in between the week, my friend that accompanied on these escapades is now happily dating a guy she met during one of our trysts, but me, I am still single. I just swore off going out again. It's like a failure. I spent so much money, I even went to Vegas for crying out loud, and still I didn't meet anyone. No career, no matter how hard I try and no man, no matter how hard I try. So I just said fuck it, let's just sit at home and feel sorry for ourselves.

But here I am, the obligatory Saturday morning blog. I didn't ride my bike, because I couldn't get up early enough. But hopefully I can get some work out in today. I feel so heavy and bloated.

Work has been ho-hum. I have come to that point where I dislike the people I work with. I can work with them and God willing I can work with them for at least a year. I don't disike them as much as I disliked the folks at UCB, but I just have no like for them. They weren't exactly the warmest people to me when I got there, and something about that just sets it off, and since then, we haven't actually kissed and made up, if you know what I mean. Attorneys are by nature prone to being with themselves, there are others that they work with, but they choose only to talk to themselves and socialize among themselves. Like the rest of us are chopped liver, like we don't exist, like we are unimportant. That's why I have chosen to be a different kind of attorney to do a different kind of work, hopefully international law, and law of international commercial transactions. What I do now, is just not fun. I try to make it fun, but it truly isn't. It is not as bad as all the others, this is actually the best, if we were to grade my past job experiences, this one would rank the highest to probably 65-70%. And that's all that should matter for now until I can figure out if I want to live in this country or not.

I just need to get back to the hobbies I love, now that I can do them. All things being equal I may be studying for another exam by this time next year, so I need to do all I can to enjoy this momentary nothingness. Writing, taking pictures, riding my bike, working out, sitting in Barnes and Noble, just the quiet things I like. I just have been so caught up in feeling sorry for myself lately that I haven't done anything else. But we'll see.

Dinner Party 07/07/07

So the dinner party was a success, more or less. A couple of things that could have been better...

Because of the stagnant water that my broken dishwasher had brewed, my house was infested with gnats, and you know how they love the smell of wine, so they kept flocking to our wine glasses as we talked. Very embarassing.

I only ordered one entree of each Italian meal, I didn't want to order a whole bunch of food especially Italian that is so fattening and not have people eat it at that time of the night, but they did, so much that the food seemed like it was too little. Maybe next time I will do Thai food, it's cheap and it goes right through you. I didn't heat up the plates, and I didn't have a set of glases enough for a set of five. I always used to buy sets of four, and one of each set has ended up broken what with all the moving, so I had about 3 glasses of each, so everyone sort of drank in different glasses. Weird!

And lastly, when I washed the glasses and the dishes, I didn't wipe them, so they still had spots in them. I noticed the spots when I went to pour the wine for my guests. Embarassing, aye!

For a first try out it wasn't so bad. I hope everyone had fun. You know with women, they tell you they had fun but in the end they probably didn't.

I'm exhausted. For some strange reason, the dishwasher cleaned out okay last night when i put our dishes in, and this time it's the garbage disposal that's broken. Talk about role reversal.

Happy Anniversary

Today is my American entry anniversary. Meaning it's been 7 years officially today since I came into this country. And looking back at, I don't know if it was a good decision or not, but I am here. And the way things are slowly crumbling, this may be the last. But let's not lose hope just yet. I would have loved to go to church today to thank God for 7 horrendous, earth shattering, sometimes good)years but I didn't feel too d=good and here I am sitting at home on my day off hoping to feel better.

Either way, thank you God for allowing me to stay here and survive in this "great" country for 7 years. Granted some things are simpler in this country and I hope to apprecitae the goodness of it. You made it possible for me from entry to inhabitation and by your grace I will decide if it's time to go or not. Make this dance a little while longer, Dear Lord. Amen.