The 20th Year...

As I celebrate my 20th year at the Bar this weekend, I recall one of the reasons why I became a lawyer and stayed a lawyer in the first place.

This scene from the 1993 movie Philadelphia. At that time, for me, it was inspiring, formidable, bold, poignant and cutting edge, even till now. Everything about it, particularly this scene gives me goosebumps.

Unlike him, I cannot say I am an excellent lawyer. I certainly don't know the law (in Nigeria, the law is evolving and doesn’t quite know itself) but have I been a part of justice being done? Well. I can only say that I’ve been a part of shaking some trees now and again. And truly, it IS quite a thrill when that happens (even though nobody likes you after that)

I want to thank everyone who's ever said Yes. Every recruiter, hiring manager, company who's looked twice at my resume, profile, every exam result that's made me think, oh wow, so we passed International Tax law, who knew? Every decision maker who's thought even for a millisecond, let's get to talk/meet this unconventional lawyer.

I want to say Thank You. meeting you, talking to you, and working with you has made my career so colourful, diverse, of a certain quality, raised my standards, blessed me with your knowledge. It only takes one person to say Yes.

Also, special thanks to the people who bother answering their emails. In Nigeria, that is so essential, response time here is non-existent. So thank you for responding to my email, even if it was to say No, that's still something, means you read my email. I appreciate you.

Bad Dreams

I always try to describe my dreams somewhat as soon as I can recall them. Because hours later, as much as 24 hours later, I’d probably forget.

The other night I dreamt about Don Draper. Not Jon Hamm, but Jon Hamm as his character Don Draper. I was recounting to Don Draper fond memories of our affair and he said he remembered too. All this while I was sitting on his lap. Found it rather absurd because I haven’t watched any Mad Men related shows in a long time.

Then. Last night. Keanu. Granted I looked at Keanu’s snaps from his recent trip to Japan just before bed. But the dream, see less than 5 hours later I am struggling to remember it. But this is what I can recollect. I woke up in a sweat like a bad dream sweat and I thought to pray since it was a bad dream that’s what you do when you awaken. Then, I recalled that this is a man I may never meet, so what am I really praying about. Then, I prayed that it wasn’t a premonition of other things in my life.

We were together. He was burning candles you know those lanterns that you burn to say a prayer and they fly away. He burnt 3. One for his mum, one for his sister and the other for someone initialed P.D. Obviously it wasn’t me. When I asked him who it was. He said he has never admitted this to anyone but she’s his girlfriend. Someone he’s been sorta seeing for a long time. He hasn’t always been a girlfriend type person but he wants to be one now. That hit me like a ton of bricks. I promised not to tell anyone, cos I don’t have that many friends to tell. He concurred that that was why he trusted me with the information, he had noticed that I concentrated on my work. As soon as we returned from wherever we were and she was there he like ghosted me, I’m assuming to be with her. Remember thinking what a hmmm guy, but then of course he is. You can’t be single at that age without having broken a lot of hearts along the way. My dream confirmed that he has a bad streak and that bad streak has to do with women and his commitment issues.

The 55th Year

Prior to my baby, Keanu's birthday I was portended with unease. Asides from the unnerving sadness I had been nursing which was unusual for someone who had started a new job, I was apprehensive. Will everything be okay? 

Usually when it's his birthday I'm always going through some type of crisis... relocation...no job...Naija returnee drama...changing apartments...you name it. 

I was holding my breath considerably on this one. 

Remember this one time he had a movie release sometime in February and I had just lost my job. Was watching him do the press for the movie and I just sat on my couch crying. Like why can't I enjoy my baby tell smarmy jokes on some late night talk show. 

Last year there was some type of drama (apartment drama, remember that?) but I shunned it choosing to take myself to a nice dinner instead. Got some nice pictures out of it too, made some indelible memories. I found myself glowing from the pseudo birthday celebration. 

So this year...the 55th time...so far...is this for real? Things are seemingly...okay...still waiting for the other shoe to drop. But this year is kind of a big deal, he's kind of a BIG DEAL all of a sudden. The whole world has suddenly realized what I have been saying all these years, about what a special human being this is

So I asked the Universe to please let me enjoy this birthday... at least more than I did my own...let me have this one year be special.

However, that was not to be. 

On the day of, woke up to what seemed like the onset of the flu. You know the scratchy throat, head cold, chills. I spent the entire day fighting it at work and in the evening, overdosed on cough medicine crawled up on my couch reading about his birthday trending on #Twitter. All I could do was retweet and send fond thoughts. 

So I lost.

Next day. I felt seemingly better. So I did a post birthday celebration. I even went to church. 

The evening's subdued celebration of my baby's birthday was... 

I thank God. For him. For my obsession. For him not disappointing my undying obsession. Also, thank God that I was well enough to even celebrate. 

For Love. Art. Passion. And all that is beautiful. Just like him. For all my love and more.

For Keanu. The 55th time...don't worry baby, I didn't forget.