well

Well...the plan this evening was to research alternate locations in Africa to relocate. Not South Africa since they hate Nigerians, and certainly not a war-torn country like Sudan. But somewhere I can treated with the dignity of an expatriate and not have people wonder why I understand English, meanwhile I have been speaking it all my life. Some place where the people give a shit, and the employers actually respect employees not promise to and don't pull that off.

Either way I had planned to research alternate living conditions, not Europe since living and working there is almost as hard as living and working here. But studying there is fine. We want your tuition money but we don't want to give you a job. Well, that plan for this evening went burst and I ended up not doing any research at all. Just sat around, lazily, feeling sorry for myself. That's why I hate coming home after work. I just sit around lazily, feeling sorry for myself. Not working out, not basking in the beautiful sun, not getting my hair or my toes done, not researching. Just lazying around, thinking of what I would like to do but I cannot. Planning without execution.

San Francisco Bound!

I have gone and done it again. Inasmuch as I whine that I can never break even with my credit card bills, I have gone and done it again. I have booked yet another vacation. This time it's the major one, like let's go out with a bang!

I will be visiting within the next couple of weeks, Easter Weekened to be exact, the lovely cities of Las Vegas and San Francisco, 3 days a piece.

I am just so sick of being bored during my weekend, so I decided to live it up a bit. A little too much. But you only live once.

I don't know what trouble I can get up to in Las Vegas, it is really not in my must-see places, but I shall try to see if I can get up to something.

Then, San Francisco. My dream city. I've been wanting to see this place. Hopefully I shall not be besieged with crappy weather. I want to go the museum, H&M, and of course, the Pier. Oooh, I am looking forward to this one. I don't know why I hesitated. The Money perhaps. It is costing at least $1000 just to get my shit together. Hoping it's worth it.

Better update to come. I am at Caribou Coffee across the street from my apartment feeling like some kind of coffee shop schmuck, sipping on my overpriced coffee as I surf the web.

How is your Sunday going?

St. Patricks Day

The problem with doing so much on Friday is that come Saturday you really have nothing else to do. You sit there and you wonder, okay so what do I do today? I feel that way today and it's bad because today is good ole' St. Patrick's Day.
Went out drinking with my co-worker, we've been doing that a lot. I had fun. We sat in this table with these two cute guys, but they were so young. They just graduated college in December. The girls in there had their teeth sharpened if you know what I mean. They came prepared with their "girls" out to play. I just felt really old.

In between having fun, I just kept asking myself, "what am I doing here?" These guys must think I like them, and it is not the case. I just don't get out much. Obviously. We went to the bathroom, my girlfriend and I, and when we returned they replaced us with these girls that were skanky looking, looked like they were ready to blow them for the drinks they would buy them. I was just so upset and disappointed that I grabbed my jacket and walked out the door. I didn't pay for my drinks and I didn't say goodbye. My friend caught on and ran after me soon after.

Summary of a good evening, without a good pay off. Like a movie that goes well, but the ending just disappoints.

boo-boo at work

Today I did a big Boo-boo at work. It was a big Boo-boo for me because I had already started exchanging emails back and forth with my boss about some other issue and then, when this one came up, it like solidified her claim that she was implying in her emails, "You are a fuck-up." and my responses were implying, "No, Ma'am, I am no fuck-up." So when the boo-boo came. It just said. Yes you are a fuck-up.

So hopefully, I will not get a long-ass email saying, Oh, you big fuck-up.

Dissatisfied a bit, are we?

Citing excessive workload and poor promotion policies, younger employees are the most dissatisfied. (You don't say!)
Employee dissatisfaction is at an all-time high, according to a national survey released Monday by the Conference Board, a New York-based private research group.
When it comes to money, not surprisingly, workers earning $15,000 or less per year reported the lowest level of job satisfaction, while those whose earnings exceeded $50,000 per year (52 percent) were the most satisfied.(I suppose money supplements their dissatisfaction in this case)
When asked what they didn't like about their job, most workers said they were unhappy with bonus plans and promotion policies, followed by excessive workload and potential for growth, according to the study. Still, 56 percent of workers said they were satisfied with their commute and found their work and co-workers interesting.(Just like I in this case. Sucky job, wonderful co-workers, wonderful company, and wonderful working environment)
"Although a certain amount of dissatisfaction with one's job is to be expected, the breadth of dissatisfaction is somewhat unsettling, since it carries over from what attracts employees to a job to what keeps them motivated and productive on the job," Franco said in a statement.
Copyrighted, Mansueto Ventures LLC. All rights reserved.

My co-worker began this morning by saying that she was bubbling with energy when she got up in the morning but on getting to the office, she was suddently sapped of it. And then you read an article like this and you wonder why of course. Because you suddenly realized that you are in that place that you don't want to be. And it sucks, sucks your spirit, motivation and most of all you energy. No amount of multivitamins can revive your energy.

Work exercise

We just had a file-pulling exercise at work. We had to drop everything and go pull some files for auditors that are coming by to visit our establishment. Isn't that the most asinine thing ever? This sums up my American working experience all together. It's always some bullshit job that you take because you want to pay the bills and it seems like it's a good company, somewhat big reputable company and then, it's a company greatly disorganized, all this people working in surviving in such disorganization, built for a select few, the "Leaders" as they call them. No one else gets a whiff of a promotion or ascension of some kind and we are all left to "pull files", or work on some "mass scanning project" because they cannot think of something more engaging for a masters degree graduate to do.

Now, you understand why I feel like I am in some kind of career slump. Eternal career slump.

weekend update

So I went out on Friday night. I went with a colleague of mine to Dolce and Copeland's Cheesecake Bistro in Atlantic Station. I should have brought my camera. I should actually have a good digital camera for moments like that since we may be winding down our stay here. (God forbid) It was one of the best times I have had in a long time. Had way too much to drink and acting a fool all through, all the way home I was smiling to myself. Slept like a baby to the afternoon on Saturday and it still felt good.

Still thinking of this career thing. When am I not thinking about it? While updating my resume I bumped into this girl who left law school a year after I did. She is getting her S.J.D in Harvard, after getting her LL.M from Harvard Law School. Like I didn't feel crummy enough, I have to bump into someone who's life is A-Okay. She had about 4 publications, worked with so many professors and scholars, appointed scholars several times over. Yes, she is the one who will get a call back from World Bank, certainly not me. I am just not that kind of candidate. I wish I was. I am not sure if I can even be that kind of worker, I have never been pushed to and I was certainly not that kind of student, which explains why my grades were subpar. But now I need to be that kind of person, because mediocre grades and work will not get you anywhere in this society. It just wouldn't.

The Ides of March

No one is happier than I am that February is over. It was quite disappointing.



From the first day to almost the last day. The good news is that I do have a job and I am enjoying my co-workers. And most importantly, yesterday, the last day of the month, my degree showed up. I now have a copy of my degree, saying I graduated with a Master's Degree. Exciting, daunting (my new favorite word) and just exhilirating. I am so encouraged to do more. Hopefully, more wants to good by me. (Screaming) Hopefully more wants to do good by me.

Here's to March. And hopefully to so much much more.