Xmas and New Year

Just enough time to post this because I am one ambien away from falling asleep.

Xmas was, well, y'know how Xmas is. You don't expect much and not much ever happens. I keep expecting Keanu to show up as my Christmas present and obviously that hasn't happened. But Xmas was a little adventurous this year because I got to travel on Xmas eve and take a whiff of all the Xmas panic at the airport. Luckily for me, mine was a tad before all the chaos, quite at dawn, so I didn't experience all the delays and the terrorist scare, but we shall not speak of that. The unlucky part was that I had to do some mad shopping the night before I left and had to book a cab to the airport, worse off, I had to miss a Xmas party bash at Door 44 lounge while I finished my packing. I hated missing that.

But all is well.

Spent a few boring days in Houston. We have recently relocated to Austin, TX. A place I've always wanted to visit. And I trust a place I will visit again. It is awesome. Just quaint, historic, culturally rich, awesome. If I ever move to Texas, or give another southern  city a shot this would be the place to go. It reminds me of Philadelphia (because we are so close to the town hall and the museum) and London (because of the cobble stone streets) all rolled into one. A little bit of San Francisco mixed into it, because of the alternative lifestyle. Their slogan here is Keep Austin Weird. I love that. As long as you don't think I am weird for loving it.

Will try to update but hotel charges a ton for wifi and my laptop is super old but all in all, so it is. At this point, all I can hope is that I have an awesome New Year, filled with lots of alcohol and debauchery.

Muah!!!

Wait Out The First Hour

Going out. Solo.

Daring out into the Wild. Alone.

The first hour is always the worst. Sometimes the first couple of hours depending on how long you resolve to stay there.

In going out solo, it's the dressing up, the psyching yourself up to leave the TV, tear yourself from the comfort of the couch, get all dolled up, decide what to wear, what to squeeze into, drive to some god-awful place (probably in bad weather) and look for parking, and deal with stepping out of the car by yourself. All the thoughts that go through your head at this time - why am I doing this again?

Then, you get there and you either deal with the people at the door, or you deal with the people you see closest to the door, and they, realizing that you're there on your own, are immediately put aback and then it causes them to stare. This immediately sets you off kilter, puts you on pins and needles, making the butterflies that you had wrestled with to get there and suppressed successfully suddenly start to resuscitate. Then, to ease the tension you order a drink, what to order, what to order that would make this night go off faster, somewhat easier. The choice of drink is key, especially if you're on a budget (since you're the one sponsoring this gig), you have to drive yourself and you have to make it count. The drink is either good or bad but you have to drink it. So you order a sexy drink no less and pick a spot with your mediocre drink, you stand there and contemplate, "So how long can I stand this before I realize I would have been better off in front of the TV? You peruse the crowd and come to your conclusion. One hour tops, and if the music continues like this, then you add or subtract 30 minutes.

Until some fun thing starts  -- The people lighten up and either strike a conversation with you or you strike a conversation with them and they end up being quite an intelligent/fun crowd -- you inevitably have to stick to that timer. Until then, it's usually a 50/50 toss up. Sometimes you strike dirt, sometimes you strike gold, and with the places that have lightened up, I often or not always go home with a smile on my face. But it's the first hour that's always the hardest. Once you get past that hour, the stares and the discomfort of being away from your comfort zone, once you conquer that you just might be in for a fun evening.

The same for network events, music, art (restaurant, wine, clothing store), launches, dinner/wine tasting events, any sort of event where you find yourself having to maneuver a room alone.

The first hour is the Magic Hour. Just wait it out - and you'll be fine. 

A tale of Two Aphy's

As the year draws to a close you can't help but feel like you failed yourself somehow. 

In more ways than you care to count. I can't help but feel as if there are some things I often promise to do differently but never actually do, some traps I inevitably just lay for myself. Then, of course there are the things that you hope, wish and pray on that never seem to come to fruition.

One of the former is the fact that I let my real life persona merge with my online persona and even after the Yelp debacle last year you would think I would know better, but naah, I just kept on going with my big fat mouth. So much so that I had to change domains. I lost some of those friendships because of that and worse off, I had to face people, judgmental people, and deal with their judging hypocritical eyes. They can judge me because they know me, as transparent as I am in my journal, but I don't know them, their secrets are locked away safe and sound and never have to deal with me, or my judging eyes at any point in time.

This is especially hurtful because in real life I am very secretive. People ask me about my weekend plans and I flinch, then give them some cookie cutter language. Ask me about the future anything, plans for Christmas and I feel uncomfortable discussing it with you. So for me to have people that I interact with in real life know not only my plans but my hopes, dreams, disappointments and frustrations is just quite invasive and intrusive and then, they have the nerve to judge me on my assertions. Every time I think about it, I think what a fool I was!

So that along with a few things here and there comprise some of my disappointments for this year. Let's enjoy the new domain and hopefully we will not be sought out and stalked like we were on the last one.

Red Tie Soiree

Just got back from the 2009 edition of the Red Tie Soiree.

Why do I do this to myself? This time it was even worse than last year.

Any party that is predominated with black people is not really my thing. That is dominated by any race. Period. Why can't we all get along, including party together? This year I had second thoughts because last year it was the epitome of men standing around with their dicks in their hand, afraid to chat up the ladies. So I thought of boycotting it this year. But I went to it for 2 reasons:

1) A chance to see black men dressed in suits. The only other time you get to see that is in church.

2) I had nothing better going and it's the holidays.

This time it was more of a coming out to a dinner party with your girlfriend kind of gig for a lot of the people. And then the few of us that were not with our "fellas" were gathered in female groups taking pictures of themselves as if this was the prom. Then, there is the solo dude who stands by himself thinking you want to ask him out when you ask a simple question like, are you enjoying yourself? He just steps back and goes "Oh-er, she's trying to hit on me."

What on earth for, Atlanta? And then he stands in the corner all night buying drinks for himself and texting God knows who? And insists he is having a good time when you ask him.

Then, there was the photographer who had an aversion to taking pictures of: 1) women who are covered up and not showing any cleavage (how dare you not show any skin in 30 degree weather), or 2) women who are standing by themselves seemingly enjoying themselves. If you are not with a guy, or with snickering groups of girls, he really had no business taking your picture. You see photographers even hate the soloists!

The only redeeming quality was the DJ. But he messed it up when he moved from the old school classics like SWV and Aaliyah to this new school shit where they swear every second word. So with that I left. I will not attempt this again. And please if you are by yourself, next Christmas, do not attempt it either, not unless you went to Moorehouse, Spelling, GA Tech or some shit like that.

To illustrate just how sad this event was, as soon as I got there I did a quick peruse and then, ordered a glass of wine hoping it would ease me into the evening. Usually that always works, the alcohol always helps ease the nerves and helps you loosen up. But a horrible $8 glass of Chardonnay later, this could not be helped. No amount of alcohol would have redeemed this place. I was better off going to Smiths Olde Bar throwing down cheap shots and listening to some aspiring songwriters play an acoustic set. I would have been overdressed but I would have had some good unpretentious fun and had fewer women flash their boobs in my face too.

Do you go it alone?

I think life is best when experienced whether with people or alone. It's even more fun with people, loved ones, family, name it, a special someone. But who am I kidding, we can't all have that luxury of friends and even family, but we all need to experience it even if it means by ourselves. Certain cities are best experienced with people, I am certain Atlanta is one of those cities. In that case, what do I do....I choose to experience it nonetheless...

Tips for the soloist

That is not to say, going out alone doesn't present it's own set of challenges. 

Trying to plan my social life is always an uphill battle. It's almost like a full-time research job. It takes a lot of hours to research what I feel like doing, where I feel like driving to, what venues present the type of event that I like, what type of parking do they have, are they making the event sound more interesting/exciting than it really is, will I feel like going to this event on the day of, or will I chicken out at the last minute? And this research begins as early as Tuesday. 

Full-time job. 

Will it be a mixed crowd, an older crowd, an older but not "mature" crowd, will it be a fun crowd, will there be kids as in College students, will it be an urban only crowd, or pastel flavored only, or most of all, will there even be a crowd? 

Hmmm...stay tuned...

Anita Writes is Launched!

I thought of writing today.

In fact, I thought of writing all weekend. I woke up with uncontrollable urges to write. But then, I sat in bed for a little longer contemplating why I woke up early, and then the urge was gone and overtaken by holiday tasks. Oh, the holidays. I keep thinking how different this year's events are from last years. Last year I was living with my mum and destined that it would be my last Christmas in Atlanta. And here I am a year later, with fewer activities to keep me busy, practically bored out of my mind and still living in Atlanta.

But that is not what I meant to write about. It was something more poignant.

I've been transitioning my efforts to the new, "Anita Writes" site where I write about my solo adventures. It's sad that I am finally shaking off my wings to launch that site at a time when:

1) I do not feel like writing; and

2) There are fewer events to go to or just not enough gusto to attend them.

The site is up. It's just not as filled with updates as one would expect. In the last few weeks, I have been out. Some of my outings have been quite memorable too but I just have not felt like writing about them. Need to stop being lazy, girl.

What do I envision for the #AnitaWrites site?

I envision that it would be so popular that people would instantly invite me to their events. That I wouldn't have to scan the Internet looking for events that are either free or cost little or nothing that I can attend and hence, write about. That I can encourage people to go out alone, not with a group or waiting on their best pal, alone. That most importantly, I can remove the stigma that accompanies venturing out on your own. So people can stop staring at me like I've lost my damn mind.

So with all that said, can I just sit down and write?

What do you do when there's silence on the other end?