A tale of Two Aphy's

As the year draws to a close you can't help but feel like you failed yourself somehow. 

In more ways than you care to count. I can't help but feel as if there are some things I often promise to do differently but never actually do, some traps I inevitably just lay for myself. Then, of course there are the things that you hope, wish and pray on that never seem to come to fruition.

One of the former is the fact that I let my real life persona merge with my online persona and even after the Yelp debacle last year you would think I would know better, but naah, I just kept on going with my big fat mouth. So much so that I had to change domains. I lost some of those friendships because of that and worse off, I had to face people, judgmental people, and deal with their judging hypocritical eyes. They can judge me because they know me, as transparent as I am in my journal, but I don't know them, their secrets are locked away safe and sound and never have to deal with me, or my judging eyes at any point in time.

This is especially hurtful because in real life I am very secretive. People ask me about my weekend plans and I flinch, then give them some cookie cutter language. Ask me about the future anything, plans for Christmas and I feel uncomfortable discussing it with you. So for me to have people that I interact with in real life know not only my plans but my hopes, dreams, disappointments and frustrations is just quite invasive and intrusive and then, they have the nerve to judge me on my assertions. Every time I think about it, I think what a fool I was!

So that along with a few things here and there comprise some of my disappointments for this year. Let's enjoy the new domain and hopefully we will not be sought out and stalked like we were on the last one.