A question that often comes up whenever I venture into the world alone is, "Don't you have any friends?" That more or less. It may be phrased differently but the intent is still the same. Why are you out alone when you could be hanging out with your girlfriends a la Sex and the City. Believe it or not, real life is not like Sex and the City.
For one, 4 girls is 3 girls too many. As a friend of mine once told me when we were in school and I have come to believe it, once friendship gets past 2 people, its a group and most of the time is spent talking about each other not working on the friendship. A and B would talk about C. B and C would talk about A or D. C and D would talk about A or B. You get the picture. Even if it's 3 people. A and B would talk about C. B and C would talk about A. Several permutations of gossip. It just goes on and on. Granted, this may or not happen. However, studies have shown that it does. Even in Sex and the City there are moments when Samantha and Miranda often talk about Carrie or vice versa.
But going back to my situation. Why don't I have any friends? Or do I have any friends? Or why do I choose to go out alone?
I have answered this question more or less on this blog. Now I will summarize.
1. Self enrichment. There's so much enrichment and self-discovery that occurs when you go out on your own. For one, you get to concentrate on your meal - if it's a dinner. And you get to concentrate on your environment. You pick the people you want to interact with and the type of discussions you want to have that enrich you or add color to your life. Otherwise, you would spend the evening chatting with your friend which you could do on any other night. Today, you want to explore, discover, and possibly just chill with you. Why would you pass that up?
2. No More Drama. Who needs the drama? Certainly not I? Don't get me wrong, girlfriends are fun. I've chronicled how much fun I've had with them. So yes, I do have girlfriends. But there may just be drama. It's just a risk you face. But with yourself, no drama whatsoever unless you bring it upon yourself. You take in the occasion and leave when you've had just about enough that you can take (without the need to check in with your companion).
3. Free Will. It's yours so embrace it. Why work on someone else's or the will of the collective? Said simply, do "You"? And have the opportunity to do "You" for at least one evening or one vacation?
4. No inhibitions. With girlfriends you get so self-conscious. Can I wear this? Does this hair work? Should I let him buy me a drink? Should I take his number? Should I give him mine? We should be free to embrace who we are and express who we are no matter who's watching. If you're lucky enough to find friends who let you have the freedom to completely express yourself, awesome. I haven't been that fortunate. Instead, I've chosen to express me while out by myself. If I want to give out my number, take down numbers, etc, I do it using my own judgment. No questions asked.
Finally, to answer the question, I do have girlfriends. I've had crazy, wicked time with my girlfriends. But I've had crazy, wicked times on my own. Sometimes when I want to have personal time filled with all the qualities I've outlined above, I go out on my own. And you should too. No doubt about it.
