time's awasting

Spent a considerable portion of my Saturday looking a bike trail that I had heard so much about. When I finally found it, it was narrow as fuck, and tailored for very experienced riders. Inexperienced riders like myself have no chance surviving that trail. It was hard enough just to find it amidst the bushes let alone ride it with my bike. But I did find quite a few housing developments. Actually quite a lot of housing developments, ranch condos, (which I didn't know existed) and condos, townhouses and brick homes of whatever price range. That's the thing with GA. It's like it's this piece of land, that just started. There are very few old developments that lend to its history so everything is no new agey and plastic. Like a plastic city. It's fine if some part of downtown is filled with skyscrapers and tall buildings, but every part of the city seems to be demolishing the old buildings yielding to new developments. So it's not authentic, like I am living in some new age, 2050 town filled with people with ancient ideals. At least have the renaissance attitude to go with your renaissance feel. Instead it's all conservative and restrictive. Restrictive, country folk in their ranch condos.

Enough about GA.

The new job. Enough about that.

Whenever they mention goals and objectives I cringe. Because a) I am not sure I will be there when the next review comes around through either by my choice or their choice and b) Based on whatever comes of the objectives, it will determine my path, that is if I want to be there or not, if that is what I choose to do a year from now. I know what I want to be...working for the UN as an international trade attorney. But I have to be sure that the goal that they are setting is in line with the goal I set for myself. So whenever they say, we need to discuss these goals and objectives, I wonder, should I also discuss mine with you, so in this relationship of a job, if one person is not meeting the goal then maybe, we need to revise it. Needless to say that I believe it should be mutual. I digress. Starting daydreaming again.

So much of my time is spent away from myself, tryng to no think about my problem. But I won't talk about it here.

Pictures from my trip were extensively scanned and should be available soon. I just have to think of a cute blurb to go with each picture. But the new mainpage picture is a good feel of the antique quality living I like ti see around me.

This is not freedom

Unbeknownst to some of us, America is not as free as they would have you think. Today my new boss in the 19th job I've had in my five years of living here, greeted me this morning, by asking me to lift up y camisole way up high so that my cleavage would be unnoticeable. Which is kind of hard when you are a 38DDD like I am. She finished this off by saying, "I know I am old-fashioned." In my mind, I thought, "old-fashioned and plain old. Retirement should be calling." But I told her, it is hard to conceal cleavage when you are my size. Except with turtlenecks, but since this is Spring, those are in remission.

I just keep thinking, what is wrong with the American work system. Is it me? Did I hold them to such high esteem that none of them has been able to measure up, and when I lose my patience with waiting for them to measure up, I leave and try my hands (and luck) elsewhere. The benefits at this new place suck monkeyballs. Their life insurance only covers you up to your annual pay plus one dollar, their medical costs double what I used to pay at the old place, and it still has a high deductible, you pay extra for Vision (which I never used to, it was an all-inclusive plan) and most of their computer equipment is outdated. I cannot say enough about the outdated computer (and phone) equipment. It sucks so much it is embarassing. I feel like signing them to some kind of IFA so they can buy a whole bunch of equipment and refurbish the place.

So rest assured if you still work for GE, they have the best benefits (medical, dental, etc) out of the 19 establishments I have tried and tested. They take the prize. They suck with vacation time, but you can't have them all.

So I quit my job...

As you are probably aware, Anita resigned from her position. We will post her position ASAP, however, in the interim we need to figure out the best way to divide up her work.

So I quit my job. Not without a sliver of looking back. But still looking forward to the future. The UN hasn't called, and at this point I am not so sure they ever will. But someone else did and I seemed to be appreciating their language a little bit more than I was with the present. It was a little more in line with the job I had for a month and quit it to accept the present one. Except this one has some advantages over that one in terms of working space and job location. That one had the gift of flexiblity of time and the good 'ole laptop. But you can't win them all.

There are 20 million jobs in America, and about 10 million jobs in GA, and out of those 10 million, there are about 999999 shitty ones, and I am currently making the rounds through all of them. If you get a good conmpany, with stability, you get a company that is living in the ancient ages, that works with paper models and uses an IBM computer system with a trusty fax machine. The company is stable and your job is as about as secure as the fax machine but their methods of doing work are antiquated, making work a little routine. Then, you get the dotcom company that is savvy, and swift and modern, but it's quick to fire people in the elevator because it doesn't like how they look. It throws parties at the drop of a hat, and every meeting is catered by a top restaurant and it constantly sends its staff to retreats and meetings abroad, traveling business class of course. But in that same year, it lays off its' entire helpdesk.

In totality, I cannot win. There is no winning point, where I can hang my hat and say, I am just as happy and content to settle for said company with its somewhat shitty ways or somewhat shitty job duties, or whatever shitty circumstance they want to throw at me. There may be such a time. Maybe when I am too old, or just fed-up. And I can tell you now, I am getting close to it. But for now, I am looking for that needle in a haystack of perfection, of job satisfaction, that 1 job out of the 10 million that sets itself apart.

Flashback into a wonderful vacation

I find myself thinking I am in philly. It doesn't feel like California. Not in the least. It feels like a dream come true. And a good revelation at that. The area around the airport was a lot greener than I imagined, but the streets are so similar to philly even in their names, there's a market street, chestnut street, and a pine avenue, so similar. I keep thinking, "This is California. Don't forget it, girl dream come true. Big time."

Café Pescatore on Friday night was quite an experience. Me talking to people I hardly know, fun final evening coupled with the day at Fisherman's Wharf. San Francisco was good. The scenery here is picturesque. Just a true professional photographer's haven. It's slightly decided. This might be the location of my move from Atlanta. Just the first sight was a civil protest a stone throw from the hotel. End the war, stop bush!, etc, by university students with posters, and a loud speaker. You do not see that in Atlanta, ever.

what's in a month?

So it's April. And how did I start the month off?

I was so ill yesterday that I didn't attend Palm Sunday mass. This is the first Palm Sunday mass I have missed in a long time. In as long as I can remember. I was just so out of it. And I have this terrible body itch. I am allergic to mushrooms, yet it's so hard to find a meal that exists without it. It's like they cannot avoid including it in every meal. So that leaves me with a limited menu and occasional body itch.

Six days to vacation. I will let you know. I am in between doing so much doing so much at work that I don't have time to blog. You know how I love to blog. I have ocasional blimps of inspiration and once I stop to write them down, the moment jjust leaves me.

Like last week when I was suddenly faced with the realization that I may never practice employment law or international tax law at all. I miss those courses. I miss reading them. I miss reading and discovering that intriguing area of the law. I miss realizing that late in my career that asides from criminal law, international law, law of treaties and international organizations, and laws involving countries and their fiscal laws and employment laws is really truly what I would like to do, all day, every day and never get bored doing it. I miss feeling like this is what I want to do and shit for brains I am just now meeting them. I miss that. And I don't think I will ever get to practice in either of these two areas, especially the international aspect of it. The UN doesn't seem to be calling anytime soon. So until then, I am stuck with my shit for brains career. And my budding GE career.