The 55th Year

Prior to my baby, Keanu's birthday I was portended with unease. Asides from the unnerving sadness I had been nursing which was unusual for someone who had started a new job, I was apprehensive. Will everything be okay? 

Usually when it's his birthday I'm always going through some type of crisis... relocation...no job...Naija returnee drama...changing apartments...you name it. 

I was holding my breath considerably on this one. 

Remember this one time he had a movie release sometime in February and I had just lost my job. Was watching him do the press for the movie and I just sat on my couch crying. Like why can't I enjoy my baby tell smarmy jokes on some late night talk show. 

Last year there was some type of drama (apartment drama, remember that?) but I shunned it choosing to take myself to a nice dinner instead. Got some nice pictures out of it too, made some indelible memories. I found myself glowing from the pseudo birthday celebration. 

So this year...the 55th time...so far...is this for real? Things are seemingly...okay...still waiting for the other shoe to drop. But this year is kind of a big deal, he's kind of a BIG DEAL all of a sudden. The whole world has suddenly realized what I have been saying all these years, about what a special human being this is

So I asked the Universe to please let me enjoy this birthday... at least more than I did my own...let me have this one year be special.

However, that was not to be. 

On the day of, woke up to what seemed like the onset of the flu. You know the scratchy throat, head cold, chills. I spent the entire day fighting it at work and in the evening, overdosed on cough medicine crawled up on my couch reading about his birthday trending on #Twitter. All I could do was retweet and send fond thoughts. 

So I lost.

Next day. I felt seemingly better. So I did a post birthday celebration. I even went to church. 

The evening's subdued celebration of my baby's birthday was... 

I thank God. For him. For my obsession. For him not disappointing my undying obsession. Also, thank God that I was well enough to even celebrate. 

For Love. Art. Passion. And all that is beautiful. Just like him. For all my love and more.

For Keanu. The 55th time...don't worry baby, I didn't forget.