Sometime in the past

I think I am in God's bad books for 2006. You know how you feel when you keep praying for some light at the end of the tunnel, or just some kind if saving grace from a problem and instead of chipping away, it gets worse, it just escalates to something worse. I try to not to think every day should be perfect, it should be raindrops on roses, every single time, but when you are going through some intense difficulty, and it doesn't chip away slowly, and there is no one to turn to for help, you start to wonder, now I understand why people kill themselves, now I understand why people get diagnozed with depression and just don't want to move from asingle spot because they cannot handle it, at all. Why do we even get upset when people die, thank goodness they don't have to face this complicated life.