At night, I think I have something to say, I have a lot of random thoughts going through my mind, but in the morning, or as soon as I open up the blog page, it escapes my mind, or I am just too lazy to compile the thoughts into one coherent passage. If I venture to write them down they would just make up random little sentences. Some of which are:
a) At times, I am thankful that I am single especially so when I am aware of the travails that can be inherent in a relationship, such as Rihanna's. I would hate to be beat up like that. I would hate someone whom I have termed my lover to turn round and beat me REPEATEDLY. I just listen to such stories and say, I am glad I am single so I don't have to deal with that. What The Fuck?!
I keep thinking, "Why would she let him beat her like that?" and "Why the Fuck would she want to go back to that?"
Forgiveness is good. But do not go back to that. He may change. We hope he changes. But we also hope she is not there to find out if he does or not.
But then again, why do I care? Only because she represents every woman who feels their life is over once they are single and they would rather stay in meaningless relationships represented by abuse or other ghastly acts such as self-neglect and infidelity, than stay, without hassles, struggling with their bills, dealing with an eternal loneliness but innate peace...like me.
b) On the flip side, at times when I struggle to balance my checkbook, or pay for vacations myself, I wonder, this would be so much easier (I think?) if I were to do this with someone else. It's like put an end to this already. But then again, if I got a pay raise, or THE job were to occur, the bills may not be so astounding. I don't know.
c) The world view on the dismal economy doesn't seem to be lightening up. The economy itself doesn't seem to lightening up. I keep wondering where did all the money go? One minute the world was fine, and slowly it began with housing and subprimes, and rising fuel costs, and before we knew it, the whole freaking world is on its ass wondering, "Where did all the money go?"
It's hard enough to deal with your internal problems, to live with your hopes and dreams and live in hope, even if it's just a flicker of it, that one day they will come through, but when there is a human race capsize, where is that hope to go?
d) I have come to accept why I do not have friends. I don't think I have met anyone like myself. I have different world views, I enjoy different things, I love to experience different things. This is not the same for most people.
On a sunny weekend what do I think of doing? Sitting out on the patio of some restaurant drinking the coldest beer possible. on certain week nights what do I feel like doing, going to listen to live music. Anything at all, as long as it's live. It could be off-key, boring acoustic nonsense, but it's live and that's all that matters.
When I go to vacation what do I feel like doing in the new city - visiting their museums. Spend a day at the museums and then walk the streets exploring the local culture (if it exists and if I am visiting that place, surely it exists.)
These are not traits that people readily enjoy. I haven't met anyone like me, and to a certain extent, I would be hard pressed to discover someone like me. So I have come to enjoying myself and taking and enjoying each day with myself as best as I can.
e) That being said, my phone doesn't ring. I think I have come into this year devoid of prospects, which is sad considering how optimistic I was when I went into it. This is like the driest of the spells, the roughest of the patches and the quietest of the times. I have this elaborate phone rate plan with text messaging capabilities, but no one calls me. I won't dwell on that. It will get better.
a) At times, I am thankful that I am single especially so when I am aware of the travails that can be inherent in a relationship, such as Rihanna's. I would hate to be beat up like that. I would hate someone whom I have termed my lover to turn round and beat me REPEATEDLY. I just listen to such stories and say, I am glad I am single so I don't have to deal with that. What The Fuck?!
I keep thinking, "Why would she let him beat her like that?" and "Why the Fuck would she want to go back to that?"
Forgiveness is good. But do not go back to that. He may change. We hope he changes. But we also hope she is not there to find out if he does or not.
But then again, why do I care? Only because she represents every woman who feels their life is over once they are single and they would rather stay in meaningless relationships represented by abuse or other ghastly acts such as self-neglect and infidelity, than stay, without hassles, struggling with their bills, dealing with an eternal loneliness but innate peace...like me.
b) On the flip side, at times when I struggle to balance my checkbook, or pay for vacations myself, I wonder, this would be so much easier (I think?) if I were to do this with someone else. It's like put an end to this already. But then again, if I got a pay raise, or THE job were to occur, the bills may not be so astounding. I don't know.
c) The world view on the dismal economy doesn't seem to be lightening up. The economy itself doesn't seem to lightening up. I keep wondering where did all the money go? One minute the world was fine, and slowly it began with housing and subprimes, and rising fuel costs, and before we knew it, the whole freaking world is on its ass wondering, "Where did all the money go?"
It's hard enough to deal with your internal problems, to live with your hopes and dreams and live in hope, even if it's just a flicker of it, that one day they will come through, but when there is a human race capsize, where is that hope to go?
d) I have come to accept why I do not have friends. I don't think I have met anyone like myself. I have different world views, I enjoy different things, I love to experience different things. This is not the same for most people.
On a sunny weekend what do I think of doing? Sitting out on the patio of some restaurant drinking the coldest beer possible. on certain week nights what do I feel like doing, going to listen to live music. Anything at all, as long as it's live. It could be off-key, boring acoustic nonsense, but it's live and that's all that matters.
When I go to vacation what do I feel like doing in the new city - visiting their museums. Spend a day at the museums and then walk the streets exploring the local culture (if it exists and if I am visiting that place, surely it exists.)
These are not traits that people readily enjoy. I haven't met anyone like me, and to a certain extent, I would be hard pressed to discover someone like me. So I have come to enjoying myself and taking and enjoying each day with myself as best as I can.
e) That being said, my phone doesn't ring. I think I have come into this year devoid of prospects, which is sad considering how optimistic I was when I went into it. This is like the driest of the spells, the roughest of the patches and the quietest of the times. I have this elaborate phone rate plan with text messaging capabilities, but no one calls me. I won't dwell on that. It will get better.
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