Night better spent alone

We interrupt this to provide you with a (somewhat) brief review of my weekend.

Conclusion: High and dry as usual.

I was supposed to go to the club - Tongue and Groove -- with one of my meetup groups. I made the mistake of inviting a couple of my girlfriends. Every time I meet girlfriends out and about, they always want to hang out with me. They think I am adventurous, ballsy, fun-loving, all the things they would like to be too which is great. I love to make new friends but they always end up being, how can I say this - demure, fish out of water women. Like I am Carrie in Sex and the City and they are Charlotte. I never meet the Samantha or even Miranda. It's always a Charlotte-type persona who wants me to be her fun chaperone, the one that convinces her to leave the couch, drop the icecream, turn off the TV, take off the sweatpants and do something fun and risque for a change such as "go to the club".

After getting turned down repeatedly, I immediately knew that I may end up going by myself. The first couple of people had the slight pause in between texts. You know when you send someone a text saying, this is where I am going, this is the address, this is the time. Then, there's that long pause. At this point they are thinking about what exactly to tell you, what excuse can they concoct. Luckily for me, my attending an event is not dependent on you coming with me. I often or not tell them this. I am going either way so you can either come with me or you don't. But fun will be had as I am determined to go.

They eventually responded with a No. "I don't have the energy for a club. I thought you hated clubs." Yes, I do. But it's not like I go every weekend. Nevertheless, I got dressed and left my house. On my way out I bumped into one of my neighbors, a lady who commented on how nice I looked. I thought that was nice. Women are rarely flattering of other women. However, I digress. 

Being that I arrived tonight solo I thought it would give me a chance to be bad and not have to live up to anyone's expectations of how I am supposed to act. This was not the case. I bumped into another lady I had met a few weeks ago at a comedy show. She had arrived there with a guy friend of hers, who she claimed "is not trying to get with her," just trying to be her friend. I should have known something was up by the way she was dressed, even though she claimed she didn't expect there to be an event of any sort in the club. She didn't have her "club gear" on: too tight clothing, high heel shoes, flashy makeup. Everything about her appearance was simple. If she had been a guy they would have turned her away at the door. Also, she didn't drink. She drank soda all evening. I am always weary of the fun level of people who don't drink. At least have one drink. To not drink at all, instantly puts me on notice.

As the night wore on she insisted that we hang out together - I be her wingman and she'd be mine. This is fine with me if you are ready to have fun. Since I do not do this very often I would at least like to let loose now that I am here. This was not the case with this girl. She didn't dance. She didn't flirt. She didn't even move. We did a lot of walking around to peruse the guys that were there but after countless circles around the perimeter, nothing would result. There were only a couple of them that looked promising to me and one of them had been staring at me all night so I took the opportunity to talk to him a bit. But the second I stopped to flirt with him she would drag my hand to keep on moving. At this point I knew the only way I could get her off my tail is to get her talking to someone she's interested in. Many guys walked her way but she didn't fancy them. The only one she fancied was some Middle-Eastern guy who stood at the corner with a distinct unibrow and a brooding look on his face. After much tugging and resistance from her, I finally went to talk to him for her sake (and mine as well). Just like I thought, he couldn't speak English. He was from Dubai, hanging out in the VIP lounge (yes, because they have the money like that) with his friends and could barely put a sentence together. I told her this and she was bummed. She immediately thought he made it up and spent the rest of the evening sullen telling every other guy who walked up to her that some guy had made up some story about not speaking English just so he wouldn't have to talk to her. Yes, it got worse. 

There you have it, Reason No. 2 why I choose to go solo. Women are rarely good wingmen. It's not really their role. They lean towards Debbie Downers more than Wingmen and have the tendency to wreck your outing. So if you really want to let loose without any inhibitions, go it alone I promise you, you'll have more fun that way.