as the year begins

As the year begins, I am...apprehensive. There are quite a few ultimatums I put on myself for this year. You know, like if I don't loose 20 pounds by January 1st, I am a loser....not in those exact words but similar type ultimatums. Yes..so I am apprehensive. Should I have even put those ultimatums? Was it really in my hands, those decisions, those choices, were they really in my hands? I drove through this beach road today and it was an amazing experience for me, to have houses so close to the beach just there. Can you imagine having that be your ride home? I always think people that live close to water of some kind are so lucky. I used to but I never thought that much of it...now I crave it. I drive 6 hours to get to it. But it just put me in a calm space, mentally and physically I was just in a serene place, like the roof was lifted and there it was swooshing with those waves...isn't that amazing...amazing what water and some waves can do.


So as the year begins, I am apprehensive but hopeful. I've asked for too long so I should hope for just as long as I've asked for it. Who knows, it may be this year or maybe not...but I am going to keep being me, having fun until I discover when it does happen.