Marital Bliss?

Couples, please read closely this marital bliss analogy I’m about to present to you. 

Let’s say Michelle and Barack Obama (I consider them the ideal black couple so I use them very loosely here as an example) have agreed to host the Duchess of Yorkshire Pudding on the 14th of December. They agreed to this days ago, and they cannot cancel it. The Duchess of Yorkshire Pudding is so looking forward to being very nicely hosted by the fun-loving ideal couple, the Obamas. She’s worked out her outfit, talking points, reviewed the menu excitedly. They’ve promised that the evening would involve a nice grand tour of the white house, private tea and pictures with the couple and then, of course dinner with the couple and some of their closest friends. 

Come the morning of the 14th, Michelle and Barack have a little tiff over something quite trivial as say, breakfast. Michelle did not serve the buttered toast that Barack likes on Thursday mornings, instead she served pancakes, the tasteless whole wheat kind, and this really ticked Barack off. Barack remained pissed all damn day, through the afternoon and right up till it was time to greet the Duchess of Yorkshire Pudding, who had gotten so nicely dressed for the occasion. Let me see, in this scenario, will the Obamas cancel on the Duchess just because they started off the day with a tiff? Will Barack reflect his aggravation with the breakfast mixup on the Duchess of Yorkshire Pudding who has no idea (and really doesn’t care) about what happened between the Obamas on the morning of her visit? Or will he put on a brave front and a plastic smile and work through the visit as if nothing happened that morning? Toast, what toast? I know nothing of which you mean? I had a nice hearty breakfast of low-fat pancakes. That would be his response to any snooping journalists who may have gotten wind of the gossip. To the rest of the world, nothing like that occurred, and nothing like that should seem to have occurred. It's just breakfast not world (or in this case, household) peace that is in jeopardy so it is really not that serious. The couple would host the Duchess like the loving and adoring couple that they are, smiling and doting over her, and just showing genuine affection for each other unfazed and unbothered by the oh so unfortunate breakfast events. You see that’s how a pro model black couple does things - they never let the world see what's happening outside their bedroom. 

As a single gal if I'm asked to accompany you and your husband on a night out, whatever happened between you two that day or the day before that sex has not been able to resolve (yes, I am shallow and truly believe that sex is the cure to everything when a man is concerned) whatever that problem is, it is really not my problem. You agreed to welcome me as your guest and that’s what you’re going to do with a fake pleasant demeanor. You’re going to put on a fake smile, and a forced countenance and just going to have suppress your issues until me, the single guest, is gone. Then, you can get back to fighting, or biting over a simple screw up such as breakfast (or whatever odd thing couples fight over). 

Couples are supposed to encourage the single ones to get married not discourage us. Paint the picture of perfect marital bliss so we single ones can be overwhelmed by envy, so consumed by it that we are instantly swayed to committing ourselves to a life of eternal subjectivity to the first guy who hints at a proposal. Now you know why some of us celebrate the heck out of being single. 

But seriously, ladies, if you screw up your husband’s breakfast, those are occasions that call for a blow job. If he’s still mad after that then, it must have been one hell of a screw up. And men, it's just breakfast, so get over it! Next time you make breakfast for a change, how about that? But I guess if you're Barack that may pose a problem.