Hardcore Truth About Marriage From A Cynical Sister's Point of View

1. It doesn't always work out.

2. Y'all get sick of each right other around year 5 or 6.

3. He cheats with someone much younger. In fact with the whole Lagos.

4. You cheat with a man much older and more refined. Who actually opens the door for you.

5. You hate yourself for picking him out of all the men in your life at that time. That ex suddenly looks like a good prospect. Hmmm...

6. You look at the kids and wonder, "Why did I settle? For these annoying children."

7. Either of you wish you were still single. Look at your single friends and envy their freedom.

8. You stay married and miserable just cos of the kids.

9. Sex has been off the table since the kids arrived.

10. You do what you gotta do and so does he. As long as no one gets hurt.

My perspective on marriage above is just that - my perspective. And this perspective is also not a generalization of ALL marriages. I'd say it represents about a handful of marriages, a FRACTION. If you read it and think, "This is so not my marriage!" Then, congratulations then you are NOT in that fraction. If it does speak true to either you or someone you know, then, well, pray for them and hope they find themselves some happiness soon.

For the last 3 years or so, I stopped believing in the sanctity of marriage, that wholeness that can be found in just one person. Maybe I've had one too many frank conversations with married people where they've confessed about their life choices and have asked me, the single one, to be wise about mine. Maybe those conversations have resonated in me way too much that they've formed my perception of marriage and have shaken my belief system. That and coupled, with all the sad broken relationships I've been involved in that have made me fail to see the point. What are we trying to find that person for, and when we do will that person choose us, or run from us to somebody, some situation they can understand or control, that is more acceptable to society? My name is Anita, and yes. I believe in love. I just don't believe in marriage. Rarely do the two come together. If, and when they do, then it's true love. Everlasting love. Until then, my perspective still stands.