The other night in between my TV binge watching I overheard some loud screams.
I paused the TV so I could investigate the source, as I looked outside, I saw what appeared to be my gateman beating up his live-in girlfriend. Mind you, I am not for certain that she is his girlfriend. At most, she is his live-in companion, especially as he has denied her as his girlfriend on several occasions when I've referred to her as such. Nevertheless they live together and have been known to share some flirty glances. Hence, for the sake of defining such an indeterminate arrangement, I chose to categorize her as his girlfriend.
On this night, they seemed to be having a very violent altercation, he yelled at her and she yelled back. With each stroke from her, he responded with male bravado, sending her several slaps and kicks to her body. Her screams had cut through my TV show, causing me to pause the DVR to listen closely. I looked at them from my balcony, shocked at the deplorable state of their interactions and once he caught my stare, he greeted me warmly as if nothing was happening: "Aunty, Good evening." I asked him to kindly not beat a woman in my presence. But just as soon as he seemed as if he was about to succumb, she responded with a shove to his chest of which it was only the man in him that felt the need to reciprocate with additional slaps and blows. This continued for awhile so I decided to remove myself from the situation and not observe this blatant physical abuse. Passers by stopped and stared, some asked him to stop, some just stood there stunned at how violent this altercation was getting. I eventually heard a man's voice, somewhat a Mallam (Aboki), yell at them authoritatively to take it down several notches. They, to my dismay, complied. I silently thanked this concerned citizen.
I paused the TV so I could investigate the source, as I looked outside, I saw what appeared to be my gateman beating up his live-in girlfriend. Mind you, I am not for certain that she is his girlfriend. At most, she is his live-in companion, especially as he has denied her as his girlfriend on several occasions when I've referred to her as such. Nevertheless they live together and have been known to share some flirty glances. Hence, for the sake of defining such an indeterminate arrangement, I chose to categorize her as his girlfriend.
On this night, they seemed to be having a very violent altercation, he yelled at her and she yelled back. With each stroke from her, he responded with male bravado, sending her several slaps and kicks to her body. Her screams had cut through my TV show, causing me to pause the DVR to listen closely. I looked at them from my balcony, shocked at the deplorable state of their interactions and once he caught my stare, he greeted me warmly as if nothing was happening: "Aunty, Good evening." I asked him to kindly not beat a woman in my presence. But just as soon as he seemed as if he was about to succumb, she responded with a shove to his chest of which it was only the man in him that felt the need to reciprocate with additional slaps and blows. This continued for awhile so I decided to remove myself from the situation and not observe this blatant physical abuse. Passers by stopped and stared, some asked him to stop, some just stood there stunned at how violent this altercation was getting. I eventually heard a man's voice, somewhat a Mallam (Aboki), yell at them authoritatively to take it down several notches. They, to my dismay, complied. I silently thanked this concerned citizen.
Days later when I saw him, I asked, in front of his fellas, if his girlfriend had moved out. They laughed before he smirked in response. I assumed that would be the end of her and their unassuming arrangement.
Cut to early this morning, a lady knocked on my door to alert me to a mailman looking for me. When she knocked I did not want to believe it was her. She said repeatedly: It's me. As I opened the door I was greeted with her presence. After attending to my matter, I felt like turning to her to ask: Why are you still here? Didn't he beat you up the last time? Haven't you had enough? But I decided to simply mind my business.
According to divorce papers, Brad and Angie were separated on September 15. 5 days later (or less) she filed for divorce. How mad and intolerant of your man's B.S. do you have to be that it takes you just 5 days to decide, enough is enough of this B.S. I am outta here and he can go fuck himself.
When you contrast that with my gateman and his inconsequential girlfriend, you realize that African relationships are a bag of tolerable ills compared to the Western World relationships. What my gateman did to his chick has probably been passed down to him from generation to generation - Yeah, smack the girl around a bit it will get her to act right, it will get her to respect you. And after the girl acts right, puts her attitude in check, she crawls right back to her man, humble and atoned. When you think about it as young lovers they are supposed to be in the throes of passion, at the honeymoon phase of their romance not exhibiting inexplicable public violence towards each other.
Love in Africa. Why are we more tolerable of relationship transgressions? I am not saying cut off circulation after 5 days but however, if your partner does something grave enough, so utterly despicable, maybe not only cut ties, sever them completely.
Love in Africa. Why are we more tolerable of relationship transgressions? I am not saying cut off circulation after 5 days but however, if your partner does something grave enough, so utterly despicable, maybe not only cut ties, sever them completely.
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