Love Energy

"Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time .... "

Maya Angelou

Let's say based on your current situation, you suddenly find yourself filled with love, warmth, tenderness, softness and this feeling just overwhelms you almost. You get touched by love, warmth, positivity and this abounding love energy in you is asking you to share it with everyone, touch everyone with it, let them know that you are no longer angry, bitter, because you've seen what love is and it feels good, like this calming soothing elixir, you know. 

Let's say in this euphoric feeling, you are mesmerized into making amends with everyone, even that one person you haven't spoken to in months whom you stopped caring about, but it doesn't matter today because today you know peace, love and the value of friendship, today you are in love with yourself and the earth around you. 

So you pick up the phone and make that call, saying, this is only going to be a 2 minute phone call to catch up. You hope that person, with time, like all the others, is filled with this great love energy and won't be as insensitive or sound as vile as you both left things. That the love they've found just like yours will put them at peace with the earth and then, you can have your 2 minute chat and you can talk about the fact that you no longer work and that even though at times it gets upsetting and scary you have found some sense of resolve in the situation. 

The 2 minute chat ends and everything is fine. You hope that when the person calls the next day, if at all, the tremendous love energy that you shared will spur this person to say: I heard about this your problem yesterday and let's put our heads together to solve this. I am at peace with my life, in love and overwhelmed with its goodness, but I want to spread it to everyone especially you, who once girded my loins, you deserve to be at peace. It is not fair that you have been put in this situation without work, I want to help you solve it, it's the least I can do. 

You wait and wait. But they don't say it. They instead call to get work from you. They are eager for the new business that you just asked them about, that has perked their interest. So after waiting for this person to clue in, still fresh from the euphoric glow and believing that love connects all of us, especially some of us who were once connected at the hip, you ask: So you heard I was out of work and you couldn't call to ask how I was? All I wanted was to hear from you but you didn't call. 

Then, the bitterness, disdain and sheer resentment that this poor soul has harbored for you comes gushing out. At this point you are still euphoric, in fact, you've experienced kindness at its extreme, all you want to do is hug the world because you didn't know this level of kindness, softness and love still existed in it. To get it from someone you least expected even makes it more profound. So you turn to this misguided soul, who you had expected to show you the meaning of kindness and softness but instead they showed you the meaning of aversion, regret and spite, you instantly admonish their actions saying: I wanted you to be the man in my crazy life, this love and kindness I am getting, I expected to get it from you. I expected you to be there for me, be my ride or die,  but instead you found every excuse not to be. 

So when you come off that euphoric high and start to get infected by the hate, smog and stupidity in the world, your eyes get clear and in the light of day you realize, reaching out was such a mistake. You had been overwhelmed by the love energy from your situation, you were sensitive and tender and for one second, you thought being in love had touched him too. You were wrong. 

Love. It is such a delicate thing. If everyone were to be in love there would be no time for grudges, resentment and hurtful words. We would all want to touch everyone with the abounding love we have inside in hopes that it will rub off on them. Sometimes, unfortunately, we touch the wrong person. That's okay. 

Learn to accept that.