Love Means Respecting The Process

“I wasn’t ready to do it, [but] Mara was,” said Salim. “I think part of the theme of ‘Love Is__’ is love realizing you can’t allow another person to do anything. If they respect you enough to ask your opinion, you can can give your opinion but she’s a grown woman independent of me. So as an artist, she should be able to do what she wants to do… but I wasn’t down with the s—.”

...Love Is...

I read the quote above sometime in November (from a news source I inadvertently forgot to save). In Nigeria we get these U.S. TV shows about an entire quarter after the season has ended and been made famous in the U.S. But since I follow the writer/producer Mara Akil on Instagram, I had heard about it, about her production process, the press and promotion for the series. However, as I flipped my channels, it was nowhere to be found. Until sometime in October/November when it premiered. 

After the first couple of episodes, I was intrigued so I re-read some of the press clippings on the production of the series. This particular interview spoke to me. I responded to Salim's take on the production of a series that was loosely based on their love story. Particularly as he described her as a "grown woman independent of me..." 

Most men, I daresay Nigerian men, fail to recognize this significant aspect of our being. I've fallen prey to that myself. Yes, I may be a woman. And culture has mandated that I listen to you (the Alpha Male) and follow your guidelines, but underneath my momentary lapse of submission, I am still, STILL a grown woman, and deserve to be treated and respected as such. Especially as an artist, you expect that your partner, or prospective partner shows some type of respect in your creative and inspirational process and if they happen to be the subject matter, then so be it. As artists we search and grasp for inspiration every chance we get, and if your love(r) happens to instill in you some words, why not nurture it instead of dimming their light?

It's a shame what the aftermath of the series turned out to be. There's still hope that Love will prevail.