Of Negros, Boujees and Assholes

Used to have this ex from many moons ago in the US who was fascinated with Latina chicks. Last year, he married the blackest most woke sista I know in DC and they attend marches and black awareness ish together. 

When I asked him what changed, he said:

Cos a Latina would never understand the struggle of being a black man, no matter how hard you explain it, she'll never know what it feels like to be black, to be a black person in America dealing with your hustles. 

You think? Needless to say, he did it "for the culture."

If you wanna be woke and socially conscious and anti boujee...be that way...but to sell out cos you tasted the other side...that's just wrong, yo! So effing wrong. I see this betrayal displayed with all my friends from the old school, with certain Nigerians (lest I be accused of a generalization). There's always the mentality of "Let's see you made smaller so our light can shine a little bit brighter". At first, I thought I assumed it was my unrelenting overactive imagination, until I noticed similarities and one of my homegirls noticed the same, then, THEN I knew it wasn't a fluke.

Some of them started that way when I just returned, they seemed so anti boujee (if there is such a thing) so woke, so representing for the culture ✊..."oh Anita why you wanna live in Ikoyi...Surulere  no longer good enough for you." Cut to 2018, and their wife decides to build this massive grotesque mansion on Queens Drive, Ikoyi (similar to Ocean Drive Miami) putting them into debt because according to him, she's "always wanted a big house." And they are still married, and the kids are grown but yet the expansive house is still being built. Y'all know if that were my spouse now...we'd be getting a divorce DIVORCE. 

Then there's "Oh Anita why do you insist that you must travel every year...is Nigeria not good enough for you? Haven't you traveled enough?" Cut to 2017 and beyond, they travel at the drop of a hat, even for a week with their shiny new wives...bungee jump...sky dive...swim with the fishes...and speak of how Nigeria needs to get its act together. I'm reading these texts and instagram posts and wondering: "But brotha man...I thought that's what you're here for...to build this country ..strive with us...hustle with us...not run off in private jets with Barbie and pretend you didn't sign up for this hustle...how utterly...what's the word...boujee...and asshole of you!" 

There are more examples of these instances, of these pretentious sell-out black (Nigerian) folk in my life and probably in all of yours. People that, you know, once they taste the sweet nectar of good living turn into different people. Or people who pretend that they're "down" woke, culturally and socially aware and shun all forms of societal peer pressure and vanity and are present for the culture...but deep down they just lavish in the lifestyle of boujee culture with its entrapment and will spare no expense in rubbing your nose in it. 

So I'm saying it now...what does it feel like when all your friends - your supposed woke friends sell out...are they still your friends? Do you pretend to still be friends? Do you call them out on it? Do you cut off that Tr*mp sized sell-out? I do and I have. In fact, I'm slowly running out of friends actually because they are all this way. But oh well... 

For me, it's simple.

I'm Anita and I am bourgeoisie (I actually used to call it this before boujee became a thing with black culture in Atlanta). I like nice, cultured type things...in fact I thrive on them...I am culturally aware and I represent for the culture, for the African in me, but I also believe in nice things, things you can't afford just because they're nice, traveling at the drop of a hat, getting cultured from all your spontaneous trips, and I try to bring that culture, that boujee ish down with me, but that doesn't mean I cannot be down if I need to. So if you hear I'm living in a home I can't afford, don't be shocked...because that is so me...Is there any other type of home? But I will be the last person to rub your nose in it. 

I am Anita and I am boujee and I'm not afraid to say it. You wanna be my friend?