I celebrated a major milestone birthday in June.
As it approached a lot of thoughts, moreso than usual for any birthday, went through my mind. Some of them weren't all bad, mainly some of them were words I would like to tell my younger self or things I have learned about life along the way. Face it, we cannot live all these years on this earth without having picked up a few life lessons here and there.
Here they are in no order of importance. Some you may not agree with, however, bear in mind, these are my life lessons taken from the peculiarity of my life experiences.
1. As a single woman, it's best that you stay clear of recently divorced or (even worse) separated men. You'll just be roadkill. Don't ask me how I know I just do. I have the scars to prove it.
2. Try to find random moments to celebrate you. Everyday. Even if it's a random Tuesday. The time may come when you cannot celebrate. Or when the day of celebration arrives, as in my case my birthday, things may not align for it to be commemorated, so you'll remember all the other times, the miscellaneous Tuesdays, 17th, 23rds, nonspecific days that you celebrated nothing in particular just You and they would make up for that moment.
3. In your hustle, remember that your career. is not paramount. YOU are. I gave up so much for a foreseeable career, and it stands to be one of my biggest regrets.
4. If you happen to be married. your partner is also not paramount. You still are. You arrived alone. and you should see certain things alone. Selfishly. This may be the most controversial take, I know but it's what I've known to be true. I've seen too many coupledoms come and go to believe that there's such a thing as a "life partner." I feel like we lose a little bit of ourselves when we have relationships, a little bit of our dreams, our personality, our uniqueness, our time to get to know ourselves better.
5. If you're in your 30s right now, this is the time to have all the fun in the world. Professionally, personally. Sexually and otherwise. This is your time to experiment, research, explore and live out loud. If you're lucky, you'll get to be 50 and trust me, everything is considered too old at 50.
6. Always leave men wanting more. This could go either way for any of the sexes. Always leave people with that little mystery, don't be so available, don't answer all their calls, don't be 'at the ready.' As an older friend once told me, and I hereby tell you, when you ignore men that's when they move closer. I tried it that same day and it worked and still works like a charm.
7. This is a tough one but I have been saying this for about 5 years now, right after I lost my job because of one woman. Women do not like each other. We do not support each other, and we most certainly do not trust each other. Ever notice how the one person who's nice to you at a social gathering is male, person of the opposite sex. The women are just on the other side eyeing you, reviewing your outfit, your weave, your shoes, your skin, talking about YOU, wondering, why did she wear this, did she think she looked cute, etc. In an office...it's just worse. And if you always look good, or your composure screams confidence, then, you may not have long to live in that office, they would find a way to get rid of you. Why do you think that is? I think it's the fewer men to women ratio that has us women on edge feeling like we always need to compete with one another. I am not competing with you for a man, I've said and written that several times.
There's more. Surely, there should be. But I'll stop here for now.
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