Had a very lonesome Christmas festive season celebration.
For the first time I actually appreciated what they said about Christmas being somewhat of a lonely period for some people. Well, not the 1st, the 2nd time, the 1st time was when I turned 40 (coincidence there) and I had recently returned to Nigeria. I assumed 10 years later I would have better, more communal Christmases such as we had when we were kids, filled with friends, family and neighborhood parties. Everyone is an adult now and some more important adults than others. They all have their niche networks that invite them out, so they go out and don’t invite anybody, like an elite bunch the lot of them. As the years have worn on I have noticed this trend but then I had a job so that afforded me the solo outings that gave me a measure of fun. I did a staycation a few times for New Years', did nightclubs, loads of solo dinners, just did me - Single Gal fun.
However, this year I can barely stay afloat, let alone take in a cost-intensive festive celebration. Got a couple of handouts from people to celebrate Christmas but that was still insufficient. There’s something about the festive period that literally saps all your money. It makes you want to go out to be part of the fun that you can literally hear from your windows and once you’re outside, the outside takes over. By the time they slip you the check you start wondering, but I was only here for 2 hours, what if I had stayed longer, what would the bill have been? Cost-intensive.
As the handouts quickly disappeared I decided it was in my best interest to just stay home and cook dinner, eat it in front of the TV and sip my cheap wine. Kept hoping someone would invite me out so they would cover the bill, but that never happened. It never happened.
At some point I started getting pissed (and somewhat envious, or FOMO'd), at what everyone was celebrating really. 2024 was not a particularly good year. Generally for everyone it was financially draining. We all assumed that there’d be a more subdued festivity this year but instead it was crazier than I’ve ever seen it. People were crashing out of nightclubs with N92M bills that were recorded on social media for maximum effect. In all that merriment, I was sat at home in front of my TV, sipping my cheap wine and mumbling to myself.
You quickly realize the people that have you in mind at times like that, people that appreciate you or want you in their presence and in my case, not a lot of people do. When you isolate that thought it sinks into the psyche of your self-worth and solidifies how downright depressive and non-celebratory the festive season can be.
Perhaps, if I were someone important (with a cushy job, status family, or maybe someone prettier, younger, intriguing or someone who gave up the booty) it would have made a difference, and since I am not (either of those things), this was my Christmas for the 10th time in Nigeria.
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