Sometimes, I think how different my November would have been if I had been given any of the offers like Keanu was given in that movie, Sweet November, you know. Maybe, possibly by him, something just something that would inculcate these ingredients to my magic recipe: You, Me, Exciting Life, Run Away from the present, Steal Away. I would swiftly reply: "Yeah, thats the potion that is calling my name."
Today as I was waiting outside, I thought I saw a guy that had eyes like Sola, and then Sola's face came to mine, those eyes, so much like Keanu's, only on a black man's. I just remembered how tall he is, and how he would call my name and I would giggle foolishly, and then he would stare into me with those smoldering eyes and the world would seem like it was stopping right there and then cause my breath would hang in a tight spot. It was such an out of body experience, I yearned for it like a drug!
I thought today that I do need that high now, maybe just for Xmas, he would come, with that recipe: You, Me, escape, Boredom, Steal Away, and I would go blindly, he might just get to the you me part and I would still go with him. I need that high for awhile. Then, I thought maybe we could hide out for one whole week, the week until Xmas, maybe till the 28th, and do naughty things to each other all damn day, hardly step out of the room, drink our Xmas egg nog indoors wrapped up in the same sheets with our body heat for warmth. Wow! What a blessed Xmas that would be! Then, I would float on that high as I resume my mundane life, I would float on the high of the taste that once burnished my lips. I would wear that smile until the New Year.
It all reads so long now, when I thought about it, it only took but one minute for all the images to build, and the faint smile of what might have been and what I wish formed on my face.
To have once loved can't be all that bad, can it? The hard part is getting it back.
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