My car I think is blowing a gasket. The transmission fluid is all leaky and burnt and I hear clicking noises in the engine. Now, that I need a vehicle the most it wants to disappoint me. That's bad.
I still think about getting an office job. I guess I am such a career woman. I can't help it. That's what I went to college for, those are the dreams that kept our spirits alive. I still think about it.
Today, I thought somewhat of my self-worth. Can I ever work for a company in which I can move up the corporate ladder, or move to a behind the scenes approach? A job where my technical input would be sought not so much as my manpower, or cutesy smiles are sought right now. Yes, I still dream about an office job. A career job.
There's this girl I've worked with for the past couple of days that bears so much resemblance to Esther. Isn't it weird how 2 people that live in 2 separate continents can act so much alike that its almost uncanny? Every word she says, her cynicism, her wry humor, her devout obedience to me, the roll of her eyes, her insistence on seeing a smile on my face everytime, and just her general melancholy reminds me so much of Esther. It's akmost like God brought an Esther-person to spend some time with me here in America.
The fashion store I work for doesn't make clothes my size. That's almost like a taboo. One on my part because I hate stores that do not support big hipped women. That is, do not stock the XL, or 15/16 size clothes. GAP even goes up to 18, and Old Navy goes up to 20, aren't they considerate? I am thinking of sending an anonymous message down to corporate that they should seriously consider making XL clothes. It's just extra fabric, and I guarantee you it would sell a lot faster than the 1/2 sizes. XL women just shop more I suppose, because we ruin the clothes faster, or we just constantly feel the need to dress ourselves up.
The other side to the taboo is: in any normal situation, a person my size would never get a job working for a store that doesn't carry clothes she can wear. It's like, you have to be able to represent what you present to the customers. But I bet you if they were XL'ed, I would look so good in them, you would be amazed how many people would want to buy them from seeing my curvaceous figure in them. It's just a matter of sending word down to the poor, mass produced factory workers stuck in some sweatshop in the middle of Asia sitting in front of their sewing machines, stitching up clothes even they can't fit in that they need to cut them a little bigger and not mannequin stitches anymore.
"Oh, so they need to make them bigger, this time. That's an improvement. Next thing you know they just might want to give us a raise after 15 years in this sweat shop." I can just see the headlines now.
So that was my week. I guess I have to clear my account fixing my car on Monday. Why is it costing me so much money to have it? Is it some sort of penance? First thing to do when I get career, is to get a career-fitting car to go with my career-minded self. I can just see me then. Can you?
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