A guy friend of mine came by to spend a couple of days with me. He drove from Memphis to Atlanta to see me, and we are not dating, in fact I had only met him once and that was that, he just had a few days off work and decided to come spend time with me. Hmm...this sounded better in my head before I decided to write it down.
Let's start again.
I met this guy, about a year ago. We had worked together. He had a few days off before his new job (and so did I) so he decided to come see me. We didn't discuss where he would stay, and since my apartment is pretty big, I offered that he would stay with me. He spent two nights here, we went out everywhere. To the movies--we saw Crash, wow that was intense--to a winefest in Helen, earlier today, and to dinner a couple of times. It was great, wild and great. But no sex. Almost sex, at the tail end, but nope, no sex.
Sometimes I think there is something wrong with me. I just feel that if you have a good friendship with someone, something that's real good, sex just comes in to ruin it. For one he gets to see you naked, and the other, both of you are in this vulnerable position. No one wants to be in that position unless they have to be. And I just told him, "hey I don't want to lose you as a friend. I don't want either of us to wake up tomorrow and ask ourselves why did we do it, and what was it for. I know you and we have fun together, so it's not worth it."
Telling this to someone who drove millions of miles to come see you is not exactly fun or easy. It just feels like you are crushing him, and I felt bad that I was crushing him. But that is that. I just had to. I have my principles and for once they overpowered my passion and lust.
I've just been believing in my own Shelia and Keanu bullshit for too long.
I'll be fine.
The good news is, I have a friend and I got my first houseguest, so things are looking up.
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