I am awake so early today and with time to spare I chose to be online. I had a crummy day at work yesterday. I always feel like I am the fly on the wall in the company, like there was some kind of achievement pole and I didn't want to climb it. I keep feeling like there's something else I am supposed to do with my self, and whatever it is has evaded me. Then with that thought troubling me, I came home to try and find a direction for myself, I didn't complete the form like I promised I would and I didn't go to the gym, I just sat at home, sometime in front of the computer and the other time watching TV. What is it that I was meant to do but couldn't, what is it that I should do now, that would make a difference in my life. Weeks ago when I had these same thoughts, right after I joined Facebook and realized everybody else was flying while I was walking, more like crawling, I thought I was being hormonal, but this time I am not hormonal, I am just in a hole that's sinking in, in a person who's sick of being the fly on the wall, wh wants to move from the sinking spot and move onto something else.
Maybe that's why I can't sleep. I am just hormonally unhappy.
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