busy busy me

I don't know what is wrong with me.

I was too busy to update on Sunday and Monday. Monday I was actually busy at work. Good to be busy but work is not good. It's just a means to pay the bill, so it is never really good busy. Being too busy to update is not a good look for me.

Yesterday my boss said something that upset me in a way she cannot understand or appreciate. She was teasing one of the attorneys who was delaying our meeting by working on a certain project. She said to him, "Can you get back to being a lawyer, which your parents sent you to school for, paid all that tuition for."

I just kept thinking, "I should get back to that myself." Nine years at the Bar and what the fuck am I doing? Not this pretending to be lawyer and not even coming close. So that upset me and it still upsets me just thinking about it.

Then, Sunday a friend of mine, who just left US Law School and is yet to pass the Bar (yes the glorious Bar) is interviewing already for an attorney position. Instantly, he is going to go into the market and make double what I have fought for five years to make. All the years I spent garnering work experience, he garnered educational experience and is already interviewing, even without the Bar license, for an attorney position.

What am I doing wrong?