I don't know why but I really don't feel the urge to update this blog as much I used to. This disinterest maybe stemmed from the fact that I started reading my old reviews and realized that they had a current theme of discontent and bitterness and despair all rolled into one. There was a lack of obsession about life but more of a discontent with my adulthood. It's not like I still don't feel that discontent, I do. But it's been overtaken by the fact that even writing about it has not changed the mood. Year after year, it's still the same. Why's that? Maybe because I am celebrating it, instead of admonishing it. Maybe because I am scaring away anyone I'll ever meet by saying, "Hi, This is me and I am bitter." Believe it or not, I say that to real life folks too.
So, the insipiration is gone. I've often thought that there'd come a time when this blog will morph into one of happy notes, or a post would say, Dear God answered my prayers. Not like there have not been niblets of my prayers being answered but there are tons of prayers, thoughts, hopes and wishes that have just been somewhat ignored. And that's where the discontent and bitterness seethes in.
If I don't update as often now you know why. I don't want to keep whining about the things I wish I could do, I just want to do them. I want to spend the time I use whining about them to try to figure out how to do them. And in the course of doing them if I fail miserably or I stumble, I shall stop ever so briefly to write about my stumbles in my quest for selfish hope.
1 comment:
Finally!!!! I'm so glad the light bulb has finally gone off. Don't whine about it, do it!!! If it don't work, cry a little then pick yourself up and try something else. God has a plan for every one.
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