I am thinking of quitting the Kaui establishment.

I know, it sounds so off but maybe, maybe not. I hate it when a place doesn't give you room to grow, room to establish who you are.

One thing I can't get out of my head in this place is the lack of public transportation in this place. I still maintain my view that a car shouldn't be a neccessity but strictly a luxury. Something you use when you have sort all other avenues and have decided to afford yourself this hopeless neccessity. But here, I am constantly reminded that I don't have a car, and I can't make it early on time to work, and no one, NO ONE offers to give me a lift to where I intend to go. Not for all the gas in the world.

To that effect I decided to analyse some key things I miss about my homeland Africa:

1) I would have gotten laid by now.
Yes, sadly it's been 2 years now and I have still not gotten laid or been asked out on a date. If I was back home I would have gone on one date at least in the past 2 years. I wouldn't feel so UNwomanly, at the very latest I could call up an old boyfriend and ask him to shine my knobs. But here....I cannot understand it.

2) One person would have seen me crying yesterday and offered me a ride to where I was going, or at least asked me WTF was wrong with me. Really?! Here, they all passed me by, not wondering, not staring, not the least bit concerned. Even the mall security, you would think they would be at all worried, but they weren't.

3) My sister would have apologized to me for making me late for work. But since I am living with here, in the Western World where no one cares about anybody, she doesn't give a shit, I am thus secondary to her and all her other MORE important issues.

4) I would have been able to go to the doctor earlier on time during my allergy situation and had him detect what the fuck was wrong with me, I wouldn't have had to go through a whole month being ill, sleeping poorly and breathing with my mouth open all night, I would have been cured within a week at the most.

5) And lastly, I wouldn't be this broke and sweating it out for money to get myself a new bottle of perfume or to wash my car. I would have men offering to do that for me. Men who are just my friends, who may or may not be married who feel like doing a good deed now and again just for the heck of it. I wouldn't be longing for a bottle of perfume I cannot afford, I wouldn't be hoping for a non-existent handout. Here....and they say 3rd world countries are the worst.

There is simply no love to be shared here. None.