I finally, finally washed the pictures we took over the months, starting from Christmas, my sisters birthday, some in Johnny Rockets, some during my LJ friends visit and some in the mall when Michelle Branch visited. The last few were some head shots I had to take of myself, because being the owner of the camera it was always tough getting someone to take pictures of you.

The head shots just showed how incredibly old and mature my face has gotten, I am shocked peoeple haven't been guessing my age right all these months. It was like a reality shock for me seeing them, because I often feel the same way I did let's say when I was 22, or 19. Just as flighty, flirty and vivacious. But the reality of my age always stops me dead in my tracks before I make any immature moves. A little voice iside says, "You're not 19 anymore, you know that?" And I say, righto, indeed I am not.

I was thinking about the crushes I've had over the years too. How did that start? I saw a clip of Anthony's from the early 1990's when he had that long sleeky jet-black hair and of course the rough exterior. I started to say to myself, believe it or not, I used to have a serious crush on this guy. But it didn't repulse me or shock me, like some other past crushes do when you meet them some time later, making you crinch, "what was I thinking?" Instead I still found him very attractive and matching for the dark repressed mood I was in at that time. ( as I am always in) It's quite frankly almost a year now since it happened. It was last summer...in September actually.

That was so long ago, but it certainly doesn't feel that way.

I may not quit the Kaui establishment after all. If I do get my driver's licence *knocks on wood* working there won't be such a task after all. I love the people I work with, not one of them annoys me. They all respect me, right down to my manager, and I love our interaction together. Moreso, I know promotions come from within so I just have to keep persevering and doing what I do well. I have a whole heck of a lot more tolerance for them over there than I do at O' Charley's. I just make more money over there. Decisions, decisions....I can't wait for things to fall into place for me. For some it takes about a couple of months, or years, for me, it's more like forever. One thing I could use though is a man. More than anything else I think I am prepared for it right now. At least I'll have someone to go somewhere with on my birthday asides from myself.