I forgot to mention that I started a paralegal class sometime early this month, and even though I have a graduate degree in Law I haven't been able to keep up with all the little nitty gritty info on the american legal system. For eg, the multitude of court systems they operate under.

Anyway, that's why I've been away and obviously not around to lament just as much. However, I am still the same. So many things have happened in the interim some to make me cry out in self-pity and just hate myself, and some quite uplifting ones too, eg the purchase of a DVD player spoiliing myself. I asked for a raise from my job so many times that I thought I was beggining to talk to myself, I asked to be set free from it to explore my CAREER, but no one answered in the interim. So I finally quit my down ass job and I am holding out for a good one. There's something about doing a class with a large number of people who have "better" jobs that just puts a mirror in your face and tells you, yes, I was overqualified for that job and it's time I moved on, and stopped wasting my time, generally. Since then, I have signed with a multitude of temp agencies and they have all promised me the world but all I can do is pray, hope, and hang tight that something good is waiting for me and I can find it soon enough. Sometimes, it would seem like I was so close to my escape that I could taste, and then something a stroke of bad luck probably or just sheer fate would happen and then I would be struck out of it and left to stand still in my space. This week has just been the utter worst and to think that foolish horoscope that I ever so quickly rely on promised me that I would have LOVE an A, while money and work both rate a B. It's all been so complicated to understand the journey and its purpose. And why I am still in it and NOT GIVEN UP.

I am actually cheating right now, becos I have a test in a few minutes that I have read nothing about, I just felt the need to write a little to keep myself awake, and sort of cheer me on to what life I have online. I read some website describe me as introspective and searching for my means to turn into a woman, it made me laugh aloud. At my age don't you think I am already a woman?

Today is kind of a special day for me. It's my 3rd year at the Bar. I am taking myself out to celebrate. So even thogh I haven't done shit with my degree, some shit has to be done to celebrate it. I kinda hung out my certificate on my dresser to cheer me up.