I suddenly feel the need to move to some remote place where the economy is thriving, there is a good education system and the cost of living isn't so high. The people are warm and approachable and I can live off my antics and dreams. Like Mandrake Falls (the town in Mr Deeds) but bigger, a little less country too.

I can't put exactly into words the events that have made me come to this conclusion but I can highlight some of them.

1) Evasive career seems even more evasive as the days go by.

2) Job (not career, just hourly waged work) that one has is dangling by the thread of my dwindling capacity to continue with it, and theirs to continue with unpredicatble me.

3) However much I may hate my job it's the only one I have and unlike before I do not have anything under my sleeve as far as making money is concerned.

4)The education I spent the best years of my life in school for doesn't seem to guarantee my happiness, success and all that crap they told us it would as we toiled away in school.

5) I want to know that there are nice people somewhere. Nice people. People who actually give a shit about someone. I cut my finger the other day at work and everyone saw me washing the blood away at the sink, I was almost in tears. Yet, not even one of them asked what had happened to me. Nice people I crave them. Did they all disappear into some remote island.

6) Maybe in my own Mandrake Falls I can find happiness in the simple pleasures of life. Have my own space, make as much noise as I want to, and do what I please without having to pay the piper that feeds me. Solely search for my own peace and find it at my own pace.


I wish writing this had made me feel better. But it didn't.

I am home so early on a weekday. Asides from the fact that I am exhausted so I didn't mind being sent home but my boss at work cut my scheduled hours because of a blonde bimbo girl she hired. The blonde bimbo is nice, she's just so daft that atimes I wonder is it really true whht they say about blonde girls being so stupid? She makes the myth seem like fact. Anyways, I am going to make strong demands tomorrow for my hours to be reinstated. I have already told them I now have a job in a coffee job, which doesn't pay well, but it's like some kinda adventure everyday for me. I would want to enhance on it somewhat. It's a bit more challenging than the seating guests syndrome.

I didn't know making lattes, cappuchinos, espressos were really that complicated. I always heave a sigh of relief when someone wants a simple house coffee, I'm like finally something I can handle. But when there are 2 espresso orders at a time, it's murder, my heart rate goes up.

This is just me carrying out one of my fantasies of wanting to work in a coffee shop. I didn't get Starbucks but this is good training while I patiently wait for them to call on me, right?