For my 900th review

I looked at properties all weekend.

From last week through the weekend, which was extended because I took Friday off from work. I spent my 3 day weekend, getting my hair done and looking at properties, searching online at property ads and touring them in person. This has been by far the most arduous property hunt in my 6 years of renting. Usually, I find one and I toy with it as I look at others to try to dissuade me from the one I want. I consistently go back to the one I want to reassure myself that I like it and it's the one in comparison to all the others I've seen in the interim. Nothing quite compares. And in the end, I sign up for it. There's always that breathtaking moment when I see that one. It's just superb. Like it speaks to me and says this is where you should be, how dare you go anywhere else. With each time I view it, it's still the same feeling.

This year not so much.

There is one. But since then, there have been many others. Some too expensive, some too remote, some I like the bathrooms but hate the kitchen, some I like the kitchen but hate everything else, bedrooms too small, living space too small, location, location, location doesn't quite work out, nothing quite plugs in place. Then, there's the preponderance of thoughts.

I am not sure I want to live here in Atlanta for another year. Another year of nothingness, because that's exactly what my life is like. Nothingness. I do not advance in my career or my personal life, or any of my life goals, I only advance in age. So, it's another year of nothingness. Swell nothingness. Sometimes I think I should make a bold move and take myself out of this nothingness into something else. But what exactly. I feel rooted to this by the overwhelming situation called the economy. I have options in my mind but those options will involve a lot. One being, leave my job. And I am not too sure now is the time to do that. Or maybe I should take a gamble anyway and do it because the timing is never right and you spend all your life waiting for that timing to work out. Maybe that's what all the empty apartment hunts are trying to tell me...this is not the place, try something else. I don't know what to make of anything anymore. I am pulling up empty ideas. Nothing is speaking to me, not even my thoughts.