Moving on to the next segment

Isn't it surprising how I often feel the need to write once I'm going through another one of my emotional roller coasters? Yes, this one, I completely fell in this one. Completely.

So following the note below. I decided to sleep with "Trouble" (the code name for the new guy I like). I did this for several reasons, one to prove to myself that he is a man not a myth. Most of the men I like I start to hate them a teensy weensy bit after sleeping with them (don't ask me why, it just happens) So I thought that hate sex would kick in and I would hate him. Then, I also thought, what if he's bad at it? Even better! There's no way you can continue to like him after horrible sex. 

Well, really. This is just like my theory of Keanu, I keep thinking what if I meet him and he's a total jerk. It would prove he's a man not a demi-super-cool god like I've made him out to be. But I haven't met him so I am yet to debunk this theory. But then, I have slept with Trouble. And to tell you the truth, it was awesome. 

I can't stop thinking about it. Words cannot describe it. It was just amazing. Hate sex out of the window. I find myself beaming, during and after it and I kept thinking about it all afternoon and night. I kept thinking how nice his skin felt next to mine, how comfortable we felt next to each other, staring at our naked bodies in the mirror. For a brief second as I caught a glimpse of us in the mirror, I had a "moment". I remember thinking, "You are so fucked, Anita. How are you ever going to top this?" I know. 

So here I am. Trying to put it behind me. It may have been a moment for me but probably not for him. I haven't heard from him. Most guys call you after sex but he hasn't. In that time, everyone else has called except him. I spent last night out on a dinner date with another guy...I know, how unconscionable. You fuck one guy during the day and then go out to dinner with another guy at night and then, I spend the whole time at dinner thinking of my lunch-time fuck. How insane is this? I am such a bitch, The last time I did something this insane, I was in college, about 10 plus years ago. Now in my 30's, I am free-falling about to crash land. 

That's my story. I know this will not have a happy ending. I am not wishing that it crash lands, it's just that I know my love life and there's hardly ever any good in it. But somewhere underneath all the uncertainty, I hope something good comes out of it. I can only hope, right? Why don't you all hope with me?