Dear English Language, I miss you.

You never realize how much you miss the English language until Google Translate becomes your dear friend and companion enabling you to cross over to the other side to ease that confused look that is often returned to even the most simplest of sentences or requests. It clarifies any brewing arguments. "I meant this not that..." And of course, reduces the excessive gesticulations and hand gestures needed to get your point across, pointing to orders on a menu, wine on a list, pictures in a diagram, etc.  

I just miss English so much. I feel like a voice that needs to be heard is stifled because the first question I have to ask before I speak further often is:

Do you speak English? 

More or less, the answer is: "A Little." With a look that says, "Don't hit me with the big words because I may not know." When it's that I always exclaim with delight, "Houston, we have liftoff."

When it's a resounding No, as if, "Of course not, why would I speak English. Why on earth would you expect me to?" When I get that response, I feel so defeated, not just for me in my quest to communicate with the other party but for the other party as well, thinking, "Your life could be so much better if you did. I wish you knew that."

After 3 and half weeks of touring the non-English speaking parts of Europe which I think is all of Europe, I just miss English so much. As I prepare to leave...I'm torn. I will miss the Western world and all it's niceties but I will be reunited with English. That reunion will feel so good. It will feel good to go to a grocery store and be able to read the labels, the directions on the box, newspaper headlines, street signs, understand the announcements at the tube station and comprehend conversations overheard on the street. It will just feel good to be heard and to hear people. I miss that connection that comes with fluid communication being seduced and having to seduce with words. As words are spoken, each one that falls from your mouth lights up the eyes of the listener causing them to connect deeper and feel stronger about the speaker.
I write. I speak. I want to be understood.

If the English Language were a man, I would greet him with such tender affection at the airport, squeeze tight, shower him with kisses and tenderly whisper all those big words I haven't had course to use in the last few weeks. Such words as: panacea, insurmountable, defenestrate. I would apologize profusely for taking him for granted, I had assumed he was easily accessible to everyone. I assumed wrongly. I would also explain how I've cheated on him recently with French Language, Dutch and recently, a delightful German. I would plead for his forgiveness (even though I plan on cheating again especially with German). For my penance, English language would ask me to spell and actively use such big words as: lodestone, disenchantment, cantankerous and many more. I would smile and accept my penance, as long as it means never having to loose sight of English language again.