Thursday, August 20, 2015

Sir, Can I Buy You a Drink?





There appears to be this uncommon rule with men that when they meet you, even though they are interested in you, they will not make the first move. And even when all the moves have been made, they will still not ask you for your number, instead they will give you theirs, and ask that you call them. 

To me, that is not right. 

Too many years ago, I had this conversation with a nice looking young man I met on a certain Saturday night in Atlanta. This young man was so good looking but so conceited and dense. He said that, from his experience, women preferred to take the guys' number and would call the gentleman in question if they were interested. I just thought that was so cocky and I had to tell him that straight up. I am sorry if you don't want my number or ask for it, I most certainly do not want yours, and I don't think women should do that. I don't want to give you the pleasure of giving me a fake number, or screening me out of your calls. He said, "Well nice to meet you," and trotted along leaving me feeling like the biggest fool on the planet for even attempting to chat up a good looking fella. Can you imagine the emptiness that would consume me upon dialing his number childishly, one, two, three times without an answer? I have a host of numbers in my phone that were voluntarily given to me by other equally handsome men and I never call them and they never call me. It doesn't mean I've lost my feminine mojo. I am just fascinated by the hunt and if the hunt does not exist or at least a tinge of the hunt, then, why bother. I don't think this is the way God intended with Adam and Eve and I don't think it is the right configuration of the male/female setup, no matter how feminist I am or may seem.

Is this the new unspoken rule among daters, that women, not men, would have to ferociously dial the numbers they accumulated from their weekend trysts so as to ignite some type of relationship? Is this something I would have to do to stir some interest in a guy? With each call I would have to reintroduce myself to the guy on the phone. Hey, this is Anita, the girl you met at such and such, in the red dress with the bright hair, yea, that one, remember me? You asked me if I was such and such and I said this and that, and you laughed and said, I'm funny. Remember me now? Can you imagine how embarrassing it is to engage in such a myriad conversation? As I source for the words to make this a more scintillating conversation between 2 people who just happened to meet per happenstance, the gentleman on the line, who has been so kind to pick up the call and hasn't sent me to call screening hell, would probably try to make me feel even more stupid by requesting further information that would help him remember meeting me, further details of our transient conversation from the night we met that led to us exchanging numbers. He would do this in an effort to try to humiliate me, just so he makes me feel even more embarrassed for making the first move. Intriguing plot twist, except, I thought it was the other way round? I thought men made these type of calls. Am I mistaken? What's next, we start buying men drinks? Or are we doing that already?

So...am I being:

a. Old-fashioned
b. Too much of a feminist
c. Cocky
d. Individualistic
e. Right in every way

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