This week, and I am hoping not this whole month has been good and bad for me.
1) I am looking forward to moving to my new apartment.
2) I am not looking forward to facing the insecurity and massive amount of bills that I know I will accumulate that would take over a substantial amount of my check.
3) My employees are taking me out to lunch on Friday to celebrate my birthday.
4) It is somehow daunting because we've fought among each other everyday this week, so far.
5) I wish I could feel safe and secure about my self and refreshed like a woman should feel at my age, and I am hoping moving to this apartment will give me that.
6) Nevertheless, I feel like that Rob Thomas song, Unwell. "I am not crazy, I am just a little unwell." Cos' that is how I truly feel. Like I may be crazy and psychotic right now with screws loose everywhere but it's a just a symptom of a phase in me that someday will pass.
7) I feel like I should be more like Keanu, quiet, the silent questioner, the reluctant leader.
8) But I can only be more like me, right? The unnerving, fun yet rebellious young woman.
7) I am turning 29 and to me, it feels like half of my life is over and so much that I have to deal with hasn't even made it self available to me.
We are having a company meeting tomorrow to discuss some pertinent issues. I don't know, I just have a problem with my lunch being interrupted for a question anyone else in the room could have answered. With people thinking that because I am a paralegal I am at their beck and call. With preferential treatement being given to the corporate staff, and with my boss entertaining a complaint from another office where I went to conduct my personal business. I just have a problem with a whole bucket load of things, and I don't know why they all seem to be coming up this week, this crucial, supposedly joyous week in my life, but I just have a hard time with digesting these things and pretending like they are not happening. Because they really, truly are.
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