I hate weekends like this.

Where I do not get paid, and my house needs cleaning and I have to go out in the cold to use my credit cards to Xmas shop (as opposed to using money if had any) And the worst part of this ordeal is I am not the most generous person on this earth. I love to give, if I am overflowing with money and my heart is cheery and I am ecstatic about some good news. But when I am not all these things, I find it hard to break a piece of what I have to give. That is not really what the Bible teaches us, I know, it says, we should give when our pockets are the tightest not when we are the "richest.". To make up I came home and addressed some Xmas cards for my former employers and a few of my friends who still bothered to keep in touch.

I know I promised I would keep the presents simple this year, but I would hate to be crowned the cheap one. I bought my nieces watches, and that's it. I feel like Scrooge since that is all I got them. I am hoping I can get them something else that's nice and cheap but until then, this is it.

I just did a little Keanu surfing right now. I know Somethings Gotta Give is showing tonight (a special sneak preview) at the mall I spent the entire day in but I didn't want to see it. What's the difference in today and next week Friday. For me it's a whole paycheck (if I can survive this week, *knocks on wood*) but to Keanu it's just waiting a week to watch him, no biggie as long as I still get to see him. I read up some articles about Keanu and his money. I hate it that every article now wants to concentrate on keanu and his money. It's a little distracting, I don't want him to have to attract undue attention in Hollywood and beyond because of this money. Can they skip it, and concentrate on somethng else, almost as if they are obsessed with it? He is going to make $100m, he is going to be the richest man in Hollywood...who, my Keanu, the simple man Keanu? Can we skip that bit and just turn our attention to something else...like bees attracted to honey, it's ludicrous.

I suppose he is rich now, because he was generous with the "hollywood money" all these years, cutting his back pay here and there, buying stuff for stuntmen, that was generous of him considering people don't like to be like that in this world, that is reciprocate.

Which calls to mind, the beginning of my post: my stinginess, and unwillingness to give. There is no strong reason I am just selfish like that. I see a deal I would much rather have it for myself than share it with anyone else. Accounts for the fact why I am alone and why I admire him so much...he does stuff I wish I could do.

I shall try to be a little more generous, I shall try. For God's sake and Keanu's. He is a prime example of God's teaching that says: he that gives gets in return.