I have so much to talk about but I can't seem to want to coordinate myself long enough to put them down.

Right now, the most daunting thought for me is that I may have to go the Diet Pill Route. I have tried to get this weight off but maybe my willpower isn't as strong as the urges I harbor and it often or not takes the place of good sex, which I know I can't get now. So, I am thinking, Diet Pills but what if they are bad for me and affect me in regard to my deep-set yearning to have children once upon a time in the future.

There are other thoughts too. Some Keanu related and some not quite. I have stopped thinking so much about the "career advancement" and moved my thoughts towards buyer's remorse (TG day weekend can do that to you) and my account deficiency status. In between I think about vacations and trips to exotic lands; every time I pass some weird type of clothing, I say to myself, it looks like something I would wear when I backpack across Europe, I would send my friends a picture of me from Rome and it would have me, beaming, wearing a cheesy T-shirt such as this. I also think of having a man who would share such interests: the love to travel and explore adventures over foreign countries. Then, from there it would go to my thirst for London. Not so much the people as the place, the beauty and serenity of some areas of it. Asides from the fact that they are blessed with the artistic hand-me-downs of America, I think it is a pretty tame place to settle down; quaint and surreal.

Then, somehow in between all that, I think of him. What was he up to on TG day? How I missed him and sat there wondering if he was bored with Turkey as much as I was. If he had more of the wine than the dinner, just like I did. I think of all other chaotic, non-traditional things he may have been up to on that day and my deluded mind wanders to the lustful nature of "superstars" and how they imbibe much too much on special occasions and then, my human nature thinks, he is too boring, he may have been curled up at home with his sister doing something boring just like I was.

It takes about a minute for all these thoughts to pass through my active imagination. But that one minute is sufficient...for me.