Had a very interesting chat with my "attorney" friend at lunch. It gets worse. Hopefully by next week I will no longer trouble the world with my male drama nonsense.
I don't have much time to wallow on this at work but I'll say this simply.
1) His birthday is next week, and apparently, him and his ex have some big to-do planned for his birthday. So much so he didn't even want me to know when his actual birthday was because they had planned it out. That was fucked. "Are you back together with her? I asked. "No," he responded. "But we have something planned," he says with a slight smirk. "That is fucked." I say, emphatically. "Don't bullshit me. I feel so fucked right now." I was close to tears at this point.
I realized somewhere along the line I got my 34 year old wires crossed. I thought he liked me, when he just wanted to add me to his harem. Forgive me, world. I have been playing in this game for awhile, I should be able to detect male bullshit a mile away. But sometimes when you let your guard down, it just bites you in the ass. Like now.
2) He emphasized on the casual relationship, yet again. Which means, have sex with me and all the others, feel free to come and go (in my vagina, I assume as well as others) as you wish. Something about that is so wrong. I don't care how new age I claim to be. I am old-fashioned and something about this, about me deserves to be treated with respect. I just felt like maybe he didn't like me as much as I assumed, why would you want to share me, why? Why would I want to share you? I thought any guy would be flattered by that. Apparently, not.
Needless to say, I don't think I'll hear from him again. And somebody bang me upside my head if I ever talk about this again or speak of him fondly.
And so it is, more male drama. 4 months ago, it was broke guy, then CNN guy, now, "attorney" guy. My relationships are just total clusterfucks. A clusterfuck of drama.
I am so mad right now I could break something.
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