So after careful consideration and having to undergo one of the worst drinking episodes I've had to ever endure in my life, I have decided to say goodbye to the bottle. I am officially declaring it here and now that I am saying goodbye to the bottle - death to the bottle. No more alcohol for a while. In the end, I will save myself some money, dignity and hopefully prepare myself - mentally and spiritually for a relationship.
I think in some ways you have to be prepared to be someone's wife, to be someone's lady even and no matter how I want for it and pray for it, I am not prepared for it. I am sure God knows that too. I can't cook, I hate to clean, my house is a mess, I am not nurturing, and I drink excessively. I don't go out and say, I will have only one drink or I will have no drink at all. I always drink. That's just not civilized.
Sometime last week, the other bits sort of dawned on me. I decided to clean up. I had invited someone to my home and had to deal with them looking at it as if I was some type of slob which I am and if I had cleaned some more, it wouldn't be that way. I just need to be a better me before someone would be willing to take me on and I would only put forward the better me, not the slob, half-drunk me if I clean my shit up. Life sort of works that way.
So here's to the death to the bottle phase and all its attendant circumstances.
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