As the year winds down to its last 24 hours, I want to thank all of you, all the Anita Writes fans, avid readers, for sticking with me through my first official year in Nigeria, working through the theme of the blog, transition from being single and fabulous in America to being single and somewhat fabulous and in dire need of adventure in Nigeria.
In trying to get my footing and preach the single life in Nigeria I've witnessed sexual discrimination, sexism at its highest in Nigeria, women not being allowed to just be single and free, society instinctively thinks we're hookers because we're not in some man's kitchen slaving away cooking for the 2.3 kids. When you deal with that much sexism it just turns you inside out, almost negative at society for disrespecting the single woman just because she's chosen to embrace the hand that she's been dealt. It takes the air out of being "single and fabulous". You're just single, the fabulous part is a work in progress in Nigeria. Do you want to tell the world that you're happy being single at your age, whatever age it may be? It's just not done.
But I have worked through this tense discriminating environment, and tried to make the best of it, fighting through the stares, murmurs, disrespectful glances, and close family and friends advising me on the proper way to comport myself in Nigeria. I have just had it up to here. I know Africa has a lot of respect for women but I don't know in what capacity single women fall into that line of respect. Your respect only gets so much when you have something they can appreciate: husband, kids, a home that you're managing. Anything outside that is invisible to them and you need not exist respectably.
For 2016, I hope to have a more defined focus for the blog - to get people (men and women) to embrace being single. It's not a scarlet letter so why walk with our heads held down as if it is. I want to start a movement for single women especially to garner respect so we can walk into bars and restaurants and lounges and not be disrespected and have to deal with society's misinterpretation of our intentions. This is my focus chapter for 2016 and I hope you all will join me in this fight. If you're single in some other part of the world and enjoying these liberties, consider yourself lucky. Help us extend these same liberties to our single sisters in Africa. We are single until Cupid chooses otherwise, let's not be ashamed of that.
To all my singletons, this new year, let love be your guide, peace and sense of self be your comfort and hope be your pacifier. Overall, let your self be the best friend you have, treat it with love and respect and it will give you the same love back. Celebrate and claim your own space for that peace of mind and clarity that comes with it. And believe, that even in this crazy confusing oft-misconstrued world of ours, dreams absolutely do come true.
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