Don't Ask, Don't Tell - The Single Person's Guide

What's the most annoying question you get asked as a single person?

I used to keep a list that rotated between 5 frequently asked questions and then I stopped. What's the point of a list when the questions are all memorized? You can almost read them off their faces.

I also used to keep a list of standard responses to these questions. But then, the listeners didn't seem to like the responses they were getting. The standard responses got more irritable and impolite the more I got the standard questions.

Seriously how much patience do you have to summon to answer the same questions over and over with a forced smile?

It takes a considerable amount of restraint to suppress a scream every time you get asked. Once you say you're single, you can almost count to ten before THE questions start coming like little raindrops in Spring, falling on your face smudging your makeup. Somehow I think these listeners, with their overly inquisitive minds who seek to probe the single person, already know that these questions have probably been done to death. However, it still does not deter them from asking you this single person who would rather be left alone the same very question. They still want to know.

A. So, why are you still single?

Out of all the questions, this one ranks at the top as most frequently asked and most annoying of them all.

The rest of the line up of questions vary depending on your age, profession, the location, the setting, the community.

There was a time it was:

B. "Are you going to that event/play/concert by yourself?" Or "Are you going to dinner/movie by yourself?" Or 

C. "Does it not get lonely by yourself?

And of course, the answer is always Yes.

Then there was:

D. You got a (wo)man? Can't believe you don't have a (wo)man?

I can't believe that's even a question more like a gasp of astonishment. But the questions, no matter how asked irk all the same. Especially as you cannot really ascertain the intent of the listener - do they genuinely care that you are still single? Is it a cause they would like to take on themselves, like global warming or world hunger? Will the answer to that question ultimately solve the riddle of their life? 

I am single by choice.

Great answer. Then, this triggers the next set of questions. Usually C above.

If you are single by choice, what inspired that choice?

Huh, it continues.