Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner

Men always settle for the conventional. 

There always seems to be a market for conventional women. You know, the women who are the good homemakers, no hair out of place, agreeable, do not talk back or question their actions, good sex but nothing adventurous, good job but not a demanding career that takes them away from the home, nice family upbringing, loves kids, trim mummy mode figure. You know the conventional women. There is never a dearth of them because men never tire of them. Pick any player once he's tired of playing around, he looks around for the most conventional girlfriend on his list, marries her and settles down to a bunch of babies.

I can categorically say that everyone of my exes ended up with one of such women. As I returned to Nigeria, they are 8 - 10 years into the marriage, a couple of kids in and they are all miserable. They long for the risk, the danger, the spontaneity, the fire in their belly, the magnetism. All of which cannot be found with the conventional women they ended up with. They complain that life (and sex) is like experiencing the same soup day after day. No matter how they try to stir their wives from normalcy, the women still just want to be good wives and mothers, and feel content enough doing that. And in some way the men are happy that the women are as such and they don't try to force them to be anything else. So the hunt continues as they try to balance their home life with some excitement. 

If you look at all the women who, like me, are a little older and still single you'd find that they are not conventional, not in any way. We enjoy sex, are adventurous, we own our sexuality, pseudo feminists who believe in equality, and we want a career, a demanding profession that we can try to work into some work/life balance. We tip the scales. 

Sometimes when I look at all the notes of conventionalism it reassures me why I don't want a marriage per se. I don't want to fit into that mold where he looks at me as if I was picked for my ability to squeeze into a cardboard cutout. I want to be alive, fresh, loud, hair out of place, bold, adventurous. I have sacrificed so many relationships due to my failure to conform and as each one finds their way to some conventional woman, I suppose I will have to keep sacrificing some more...

As the famous line in Dirty Dancing says..."Nobody puts baby in a corner."

And nobody will.