If you've learnt nothing else from me, please know this:
If (and when) a dear friend confides in you about their current issue/problem, please no matter how detached you may be or want to seem from their situation, DO NOT under no circumstances utter the words "PELE" or KPELE" in an obligatory manner.
It will not help.
It may seem like it does to others but trust me, this is not the solution to their problem.
It is even more irritating to hear if you are not Yoruba.
What are we now, all Yoruba and mandated to utter Yoruba words of consolation?
I’m guessing this is probably not the reason why this problem is being shared with you.
It’s being shared so you can offer them a shoulder to whine (or cry) on.
So Kpele is not the word.
So, if I can’t say Kpele my safe word, what do I do?
Listen. Hear them out. Be Still with them. Console them. Use words. Use God's words (preferred method). Offer to buy them a (strong) drink to cheer them up (Anita preferred method). Offer some exercise to boost their metabolism. Offer them some calming tea. Anything else except for "Pele" or "Kpele" (you are not Yoruba so quit trying to pretend like you are).
Let this friend know that there is light at the end of their problem.
Offer up suggestions. Proffer solutions. Crack jokes. Be there for them.
Whatever you do, just act like you care.
And by all means use words other than "Pele" or "Kpele".
I don't know when we became a society that thinks an obligatory "Kpele" is an acceptable show of compassion.
We’re Africans. We used to care about our neighbor’s problems not just pretend that we do.
Let’s get back to doing just that.
-- That is it. That's all.
P.S. If you're my one friend that thinks saying "Pele" is a sure sign of compassion. It is not. It’s just something people say when they don't want to be present. I'd prefer you'd be present, okay, Oga?
But I forgive you.
It will not help.
It may seem like it does to others but trust me, this is not the solution to their problem.
It is even more irritating to hear if you are not Yoruba.
What are we now, all Yoruba and mandated to utter Yoruba words of consolation?
I’m guessing this is probably not the reason why this problem is being shared with you.
It’s being shared so you can offer them a shoulder to whine (or cry) on.
So Kpele is not the word.
So, if I can’t say Kpele my safe word, what do I do?
Listen. Hear them out. Be Still with them. Console them. Use words. Use God's words (preferred method). Offer to buy them a (strong) drink to cheer them up (Anita preferred method). Offer some exercise to boost their metabolism. Offer them some calming tea. Anything else except for "Pele" or "Kpele" (you are not Yoruba so quit trying to pretend like you are).
Let this friend know that there is light at the end of their problem.
Offer up suggestions. Proffer solutions. Crack jokes. Be there for them.
Whatever you do, just act like you care.
And by all means use words other than "Pele" or "Kpele".
I don't know when we became a society that thinks an obligatory "Kpele" is an acceptable show of compassion.
We’re Africans. We used to care about our neighbor’s problems not just pretend that we do.
Let’s get back to doing just that.
-- That is it. That's all.
P.S. If you're my one friend that thinks saying "Pele" is a sure sign of compassion. It is not. It’s just something people say when they don't want to be present. I'd prefer you'd be present, okay, Oga?
But I forgive you.
No comments:
Post a Comment