Mr. Pele...

Today. 

Almost did a bad thing in reaction to someone's audacity at blocking me because I dared to correct their insensitivity. 

How can men get away with being insensitive but women, when we do it, we are termed "Bitches!"

I have come to the conclusion that yes, I need to stop communicating with this person. 

Asides from a few stolen moments here and there, as I evaluate the relationship what have I gained from this person.   

They didn't help me get a job - when I knew they could. 

They've put in my head all these women whose subservient behavior makes my skin crawl. 

They've never told me a nice thing. Not once. You look pretty. I miss you. You have a great rack (I'll even take that) Not one single compliment. Instead, they've told me so many hurtful things. "You're fat." "Wish you were skinny." "You're very conceited." Things I don't want to hear, not exactly constructive criticism. 

They've never said, "Let's put our heads together and solve this problem." Telling them my problem is like a waste of breath actually. It's met with a very insensitive spewed "Pele". That phrase reminds me of one of those women I so wish I didn't know. It tells me he's fucked (and is fucking) one too many Yoruba women.  

They've never bought me anything. Not one single gift that shows their appreciation of me. That indicates it's from the heart. And this person does buy stuff for women, just not me.

They've never introduced me to any of their friends. I'd actually be sitting in their office and co-workers would walk in and they would act like I was invisible - someone that didn't matter. I never understood that. Bad manners, I suppose. 

They've caused me a lot of confusion, emotional pain and heartache. (see all the items above)

They've brought on a lot of poetry which is good. Creativity is always welcomed. But there's also been no long lasting joy. As a matter of fact, joy is slowed down, rudely interrupted so we don't get any ideas (Yes roll your eyes adult men still play these childish games). Why would someone intentionally jeopardize something that's good?

We should stop communicating. Period. I'm tired of being confused about why I'm attracted to this person. I'm tired of being haunted by images of our past, his insensitive remarks and urgh, those god-awful women. :-( 

I am an adult female. And you're either with me or you're not. This gentleman obviously doesn't want to be. And based on how insensitive they've been, about my body, my life etc...

I shouldn't want to be with them either.