I thought real hard over the weekend.

I thought seriously about my moving away plans, and my evasive career. I thought about other things which I don't really feel like writing about in here. I just hate to air my thoughts knowing people are either laughing or just hissing at how boring my life has continously been. I just thought, maybe I should bravely do some stuff, make some plans and write them down.

Work was annoying. I found out that my hours had shed seriously over the next month, forcing me to want to take on yet another parttime job. And my pay as minimal as it is, it's still shed further by Uncle Sam, can't they find someone richer than myself to bump tax dollars from? I just feel like everything i know and want to achieve or hope for myself is somehow being evilly thwarted by everything this place stands for. It's the worst feeling ever.

This morning my sister told me to think positively. Yeah, I do think positively it's my positive thinking that remains to be squashed, when they succeed in squashing that then what else is left.

I didn't mean for this to be one of those sad lamentation filled entries. I just meant for it to be one of those times when I can actually just scream out loud at the world. yes, I am tired of parttime jobs, I am tired of the lack of job security, I am tired of living with my family, I am tired of knowing that each year that goes by, I am nowhere near where I see myself, personally and financially. I am tired of knowing that even though I have taken steps to seeing that I get somewhere, some evil plan continues to thwart my dreams, to snuff the life out of me, to squash and suck the blood out of me. I am so tired of that.

I am sick and tired of it. How do people survive here, because this isn't life. I can't breathe life, since I am not living it. I am almost like a zombie. I am sick and tired of being in the mood I am in. I think some things should change. They should stop or I will stop them.